s
tired of the girl.

HUSBANDS are like Christmas gifts: you can't choose them; you've just
got to sit down and wait until they arrive and then appear perfectly
delighted with what you get.

THE beauty of variety in love or wine is that the moment a man discovers
a new brand or a new girl, he forgets all about the others and honestly
believes that he is tasting the real thing for the first time.

MATRIMONY should not be a prison but a privilege, and husbands and wives
should not be jailors but jolliers.

THAT lump which a man feels in his throat when he is about to propose is
the "don't" lump.

[Illustration]

A MAN may read everything that ever was written about women and yet not
know enough to avoid asking his wife a question when her mouth is full
of pins.

THE oftener a man falls in love, the more easily and gracefully he does
it; exercise seems to keep the heart in good working condition.

IT IS always a surprise to a woman when her husband sues for $200,000
for the alienation of her affections, which he never seemed to consider
worth two cents.

MATRIMONY is a revolving door, round which husband and wife follow one
another without ever meeting on the same side of any question.

MARRYING an old bachelor is like buying second-hand furniture.

[Illustration]

LOVE always must end sooner or later--usually sooner than the girl
expected and later than the man intended.

THE woman who insists on playing Solitaire in conversation is likely to
end by playing Old Maid.

FROM the number of virtues and accomplishments that a man expects to
find in one wife, you'd fancy he was marrying a harem.

DON'T worry for fear you may freeze a man's love out; the colder the
wind you blow upon it, the higher you fan the flames.

THE saddest thing about married life is the opportunity it gives two
otherwise agreeable people for telling one another the disagreeable
truth.

[Illustration]

THERE never was a man big and strong enough to get out his clean shirt
and collar and fix the water for his bath.

IT'S when the game becomes a trifle stale that a man begins to feel
conscientious qualms about flirting with a woman.

THE woman who pins her faith to a man won't find a safety-pin strong
enough to stand the strain.

IN love, the best way to erase one face from the tablet of memory is to
draw another across it.

A MAN'S ideal woman is the one he couldn't get.

A MAN may feel like a brute at taking a kiss from a