e vanity it is so difficult for a girl to
decide to be ready when he arrives and thereby look as though she had
been waiting for him, or to keep him waiting and look as though she had
been primping for him.

A MAN will tell his troubles first to his God, next to his lawyer, then
to his valet, and lastly--to his wife.

A LITTLE "absent treatment" now and then is the best tonic for conjugal
love; an ounce of summer vacation is worth a pound of divorce.

[Illustration]

IT may cause a man sincere regret to get into a foolish flirtation, but
the only thing that causes him real downright repentance is not to be
able to get out of it.

TO fascinate an intelligent man pretend to be silly; to attract a good
man pretend to be naughty; to win a fool pretend to be clever; and to
charm the devil pretend to be a saint.

A GIRL loves to spell her soul out on paper, but a man can't see the use
of writing a love-letter when he can compress his whole passion into one
paragraph on a post card.

IT is a sad fact that two people who go into matrimony with the noble
idea of sharing one another's joys and ambitions so often end by sharing
nothing but one another's towels and brushes and grouches.

[Illustration]

A MODERN love affair is something like English plum pudding: it contains
very little spice and sweetness and is mostly a matter of "dough."

A FLIRT and his conscience are soon parted.

A MAN'S idea of constancy is being perfectly devoted to some woman who
is either dead or too indifferent to demand anything of him.

THE whole art of winning at either cards or love consists in keeping a
level head and not taking the game seriously; but, alas--when a man is
playing for money and a woman for matrimony they are bound to take it
seriously.

WHEN mothers-in-law come in at the door love flies out at the window.

[Illustration]

A CLEVER woman can sometimes make a fool of a man, but it takes a fluffy
little thing with a baby face and no brains or morals to speak of to
make him make a fool of himself.

FAINT praise ne'er won fair lady.

GOING through life without love is like going through a good dinner
without an appetite--everything seems so flat and tasteless.

IT is most provoking to a woman who is winning in a quarrel to have a
man suddenly turn round and take the argument right out of her
mouth--with a kiss.

WHERE do all of the lost hearts go? Well, most of the masculine ones go
"down where the Wurzburger flo