ws."

[Illustration]

THE hardest problem of a girl's life is to find out why a man seems
bored if she doesn't respond to him and frightened if she does.

MENTAL science never cured a man of love-sickness, because in the
average man's love mentality plays so small a part.

A MARRIED woman has an awfully small chance of learning anything about
her husband's English vocabulary, for the simple reason that he never
addresses her except in baby talk or swear words.

A $30-A-WEEK clerk always feels it incumbent to take a girl to the
theatre in a taxicab. It requires a bona-fide millionaire to drag her
about in a five-cent street car with perfect eclat and no apologies.

[Illustration]

WHETHER a girl looks indignant or happy after you have kissed her
depends a great deal on how long she has been waiting for you to get up
the courage to do it.

TURNED-DOWN lovers tell no tales.

WHEN a woman says "There are no secrets between my husband and me," it
is a sure sign that she hasn't found out any of his.

THERE are dozens of systems for winning at roulette, but the only system
for winning at love is systematic flattery.

LOVE in a cottage doesn't seem so appalling when you come to consider
that there is such a thing as matrimony in a modern flat.

[Illustration]

NO MAN is a really artistic lover who hasn't enough dramatic instinct to
forget all other women while he is making love to one.

IF it weren't for the tiresome wedding journey and the monotonous
honeymoon, bridal couples could begin being happy right away.

EVEN though the dulcet iciness in her voice ought to be more effective
than a shriek of warning, a man will go right on telling his stout,
blonde wife that she ought to dress like the slim brunette next door.

THERE is something about a wife's tears that washes all the color and
starch out of a man's love.

WHEN married people can't come to terms marriage should come to a
termination.

[Illustration]

THE longest way round matrimony is the shortest way to happiness.

THE reason a man is so often tempted is because most of the time that is
what he is sitting around waiting for.

FROM the stony silence into which the average husband sinks after the
honeymoon there must be something almost unspeakable about matrimony.

A WOMAN looks upon her first kiss as a consecration; a man regards it as
a desecration.

TIME and tide wait for no man, but the untied woman has to wait for any
man who chooses