marriage tie is that it's so tight that most people
get tangled up or frazzled out trying to loosen it.

[Illustration]

WHEN a young man rails at marriage, listen for the wedding bells; a
confirmed bachelor is too indifferent on the subject to be bitter about
it.

A MAN doesn't think he has had a good time unless he has a headache the
next morning.

THERE is no such thing as a confirmed bachelor in the countries where
harems are fashionable.

IT isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of
marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.

WHAT a man considers his "personal distinction," and a girl refers to as
his "charming personality," is often nothing more than a good tailor and
a smart haberdasher.

[Illustration]

BEING good is merely keeping up with the styles; what was immoral ten
years ago is only fashionable now, and what is shocking now will be only
fashionable ten years hence.

WONDER how many wives have been awakened from love's young dream by a
snore.

IT'S the men who are least particular about their own morals who are the
most particular about a woman's; if Satan should come up here seeking a
wife, he would probably demand an angel with gilt wings instead of a
nice congenial little devil.

APPEALING to a man's sense of humor when he has just lathered his face
for shaving, is about as effective as appealing to a cat's sense of
honor when she sees a chance to steal the milk.

[Illustration]

A MAN loses his illusions first, his teeth second and his follies last.

SOMEHOW, the wagon a woman hitches to a star always turns out a baby
carriage.

A GOOD lie in time saves nine poor ones next morning.

WHEN a girl refuses a man his chagrin is always tempered by his
astonishment that she could be so blind to her own good fortune.

THE troublesome part of love and everything nice is that it always must
end; but then that's the _nice_ part of matrimony and everything
troublesome.

THAT old saw about marrying a man to get rid of him isn't a joke. It's
the best way.

[Illustration]

ABSENCE may make the heart grow fonder, but it is more likely to make
the head grow steadier; there is nothing like total abstinence to cure
you of "that dizzy feeling" that comes from either love or cocktails.

BY THE awkwardness with which some men make love, you would fancy they
had learned how in a correspondence school.

AS lovers men are inclined to be general practitioners