me her because they are ill-mated.

DAKOTA is the State that cuts a woman's troubles in half--and kindly
takes away the better half.

[Illustration]

WONDERFUL how soon after marriage a man gets to look upon the morning
and evening kiss as one of his daily chores.

WHAT is the happiest state in life? Why, Dakota, of course.

COLLEGE boys are addicted to cigarettes and flirtations, bachelors to
cigars and sweethearts; it takes a married man to get real joy out of
anything so economical as a pipe or a wife.

MARRIAGE is the "commencement exercise" at which we take our diplomas in
love; thereafter, like the college graduate, we begin to learn how
little we know about it all.

HALF the divorces are founded right on the wedding journey, just as half
of indigestion is founded on too much sugar.

[Illustration]

WHAT do they know--about one another that makes every man who kisses a
girl warn her so darkly and impressively not to trust any of the others?

POVERTY is only a relative affair, after all; it is X minus the things
you want.

HEAVEN must be something like an afternoon tea, as far as the dearth of
men is concerned.

FIGURES do lie; especially if they are the ones that express a woman's
age--or the time a man gets home at night.

A MAN'S favorite way of answering a woman's accusations is to tell her
how pretty she looks when she gets excited.

MATRIMONY is the price of love--divorce, the rebate.

[Illustration]

WHEN a millionaire's heart is touched it makes a hollow sound.

THE woman who is wedded to an art and also to a man pays the full
penalty for that kind of bigamy.

IN the love game nobody knows exactly what he wants; but a wise man
tries to get what he thinks he wants and a wise woman tries to think she
wants what she gets.

A MAN isn't as curious as a woman--because usually a woman tells him
everything before he has a chance to become curious.

THE only original thing about some men is original sin.

HOLD on tight to your temper 'round the curves of matrimony.

[Illustration]

COLD water never cured a fever and a woman's indifference never put out
the divine fire of a man's love.

LOVE is a sort of club sandwich affair, composed of large slices of
selfishness, seasoned with passion, spiced with jealousy and covered
with thin layers of sentiment.

A MAN may admire a superior woman, but when it comes to marrying he
prefers a goose who will cackle at his jokes to an owl who is like