shed clean at will,
but a woman's is written in indelible ink in Mrs. Grundy's reference
book.

[Illustration]

MANY a woman who cannot be bought with any amount of gold can be won
with just a little amount of brass.

IF MEN were absolutely certain that angels wear the sort of Mother
Hubbard draperies in which they are usually painted instead of French
corsets and sheath skirts, not one of them would bother about trying to
get to heaven.

THE poet who sang of "woman's infinite variety" must at some time have
been the only young man at a summer hotel.

THE man who lets the tailor pad his shoulders is very contemptuous of
the woman who lets the dressmaker pad her skirts.

NOWADAYS love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and
divorce a matter of course.

[Illustration]

SOME men are so material that a beautiful sunset would remind them of
nothing but Neapolitan ice cream, and a flock of sheep on a green
hillside would suggest nothing more inspiring than lamb with mint sauce.

IN ancient times one drink of Lethe water made a man lose his memory and
forget even his name. Oh, well, one drink will do that nowadays--but it
isn't Lethe and it isn't water.

"JOY cometh in the morning"--but more often to the widow in second
mourning.

EVERYBODY has adopted modern improvements and new methods nowadays
except the stork, and he goes right along carrying on business in the
same old way. No wonder he has lost so much of his fashionable trade to
the up-to-date dog fancier.

[Illustration]

A PRETTY girl in a peek-a-boo waist and a Merry Widow hat on her way
downtown can sometimes create more excitement in the business district
than a Wall Street panic or a fire.

BEFORE marriage it fills a man with tenderness to have a girl slip her
hand confidingly into his coat pocket; but after marriage somehow it
fills him only with distrust.

IT is one of the mockeries of matrimony that the moment two people begin
to be awfully courteous to one another round the house it is a sign they
are awfully mad.

A MAN'S idea of being perfectly noble and honest with a woman is to be
able to make her think he loves her without indulging in any
incriminating statements to that effect.

[Illustration]

MOST women appear to think that "'tis better to have been loved and
bossed" than never to have been married at all.

DISAGREEABLE habits, like disagreeable husbands and wives, are so much
easier to acquire than the other