himself a
martyr if he resists a boiled onion.

THE sentiment a society woman wastes in baby-talk to her dog and the
money a society man wastes on gasoline for his automobile would keep
half a dozen babies in love and milk.

A CYNIC can always find flaws in a woman and weeds in a rose garden.

THE lower a man's forehead, the higher his collar.

NO matter how much a man dislikes children before marriage, after
marriage he always imagines that he is going to improve on the human
race.

[Illustration]

A GIRL'S idea of a proposal of marriage is so different from any she
ever gets, that, even after she is married she often wonders how it
happened.

VENUS may have been the most popular lady of her time; but it takes a
clever huntress, like Diana, to get any attention nowadays.

NOTHING makes a woman feel so old as watching the bald spot daily
increase on the top of her husband's head.

LOVE is not really blind, it is only nearsighted; and marriage is the
optician that furnishes it with a strong pair of lenses, warranted to
dispel all illusions and make defects perfectly clear.

WHOM the gods wish to destroy they first infatuate with a chorus girl.

[Illustration]

A WISE jilt wears his scalp beneath his waistcoat, and a wise girl keeps
her mittens carefully hidden; only a savage or a fool flaunts the
trophies of the love-chase.

COCK ROBIN isn't the only chap who ever promised to feed a girl on
jelly-cake and wine when he knew perfectly well that the moment they
were married she would have to go out and grub for worms.

PATCHING up a shattered love-affair is as foolish as trying to mend
cobwebs.

MATRIMONY is a see-saw; and the secret of happiness lies in keeping
yourself so carefully balanced that you neither fly into the air nor
come down with a sickening thud.

THE softer a man's head, the louder his socks.

[Illustration]

FROM the latest divorce cases it appears that as soon as a married
couple get rich enough to keep two automobiles they at once begin to
travel separate roads.

DON'T think your husband has ceased to love you merely because he has
begun to lie to you; it's when he stops taking the trouble to whitewash
himself that you have real grounds for that suspicion.

MANY a woman thinks she has married a hero until she tries to get him to
go out and reason with the janitor.

A GOOD husband may be the "salt of the earth," but he often seems more
like the pepper.

THE trouble with the