fun lasts.

SOME men think that by putting on a silk hat and a white Ascot tie they
are disguised as gentlemen.

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THE average man is about as good a judge of women as a woman is of race
horses; he picks the favorites by their shape and color.

LOVE is like gambling; you want to be sure that you are a good loser
before you go in for the game.

A MAN'S idea of honor is so peculiar; he would die rather than steal a
friend's money or cheat him at cards, but he will steal his wife or
cheat him out of his daughter with perfect equanimity.

WHEN you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to
work for a living.

FLIRTATION is like a cocktail with no headache in it, champagne with no
"next morning."

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ALL men are the same after ten years of matrimony; they all smell of
cloves and tobacco, talk in monosyllables, and tell the same stories
when they come home late.

A RECKLESS lover and an automobile scorcher may run all the risks--but
they have all the excitement.

OF course, bigamy is very reprehensible; but the man who marries two
women deserves a little credit for trying to make up to the sex for the
selfishness of the old bachelor who won't marry even one.

IN a domestic quarrel, it is not the one who can hold out, but the one
who can hold in, who usually wins.

THE boy who has been brought up to button his sister's frocks down the
back cherishes no illusions about women.

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A MAN is never content with a fortune of less than six figures; but a
woman is satisfied with one figure--if it has the proper curves.

IT'S a wise woman that knows how little she knows about her husband.

ONE advantage of a bull-dog over a baby is that you are not haunted by
the fear that he will grow up to be just like his father.

THE way to a man's heart is a zig-zag road, leading through his stomach
twice around his vanity, across his discretion and straight over his
determination not to marry.

FAILING to be "there" when a man wants her, is the greatest sin a woman
can commit--except being there when doesn't want her.

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THE best men always seem to get the worst wives and vice versa; that's
Nature's little way of spreading the virtues and the vices around
equally, like the jam and the butter on the bread.

A MAN'S idea of being "master" in his own house is asserting his right
to put his muddy feet on the best divan and his pipe ashes on the parlo