ntil he finds out she likes him ever
so much; then like cures like. See "Simple Homoeopathy."

PROPOSING is like making welsh-rarebit; there isn't any reliable recipe
for it and you can only tell whether or not you have done properly by
the way it turns out.

AFTER a man has seen you cry two or three times it ceases to move
him--except to move him out of the house.

THE color of a friend's finger nails or his socks has very much more
weight with a snob than the color of his soul or his reputation.

IF a man would stick to his wife as he sticks to his seat in a street
car, there wouldn't be much need for an alimony bureau.

[Illustration]

AN old bachelor's looks may be well preserved, but his heart is always
embalmed.

IT takes an awfully big man to own up to his wife that he was a little
at fault in a quarrel.

WHEN a man gets a wife who makes him happy, he lays it to his
perspicacity; when he doesn't, he lays it on fate.

LIFE is a game in four rubbers: hearts are trumps when a man is very
young; clubs are trumps after he marries; diamonds are trumps as he
waxes rich and gouty; and lastly--spades.

TO flirt inartistically is like stepping on a woman's toes when you are
waltzing with her; it gives her real pain.

A MAN seldom marries when he loses his heart; he waits until he loses
his head.

[Illustration]

A MAN is like a cat; chase him and he'll run; sit still and ignore him
and he'll come purring at your feet.

WHAT a girl, who would be really popular, should do, is to wave a red
danger flag at a man and then start to run in the opposite direction.

THERE are some men who regard their wives' accomplishments with the same
patronizing complacency that they feel toward the tricks of the educated
monkey at the circus.

DON'T always imagine that the man and woman who walk side by side
without speaking to each other are angry; they may be only married.

MASCULINITY covereth a multitude of sins.

[Illustration]

THE man who whips his small son for lying to shield a girl, has a mental
vision as narrow as a Rocky Mountain path and side walls of dogmatism as
high as the Colorado Canyon.

SATAN and Cupid are chums, who go about together looking for people who
have nothing to do.

MANY a woman has divorced her husband for "desertion" who cheerfully
helped pack his trunk and pay for his railway ticket when he left her.

A MAN'S conscience is made of India rubber--warranted to stretch as long
as the