jam, a young man's of
cigarettes and a husband's of cocktails.

OF course people can't carry their party manners into marriage; but if
they could, marriage would be more like a party and less like a prize
fight.

SOME marriages of convenience turn out to be about the most inconvenient
things that could possibly have happened.

WHEN perfect frankness comes in at the door love flies out of the
window.

MIGHT as well hail a Broadway car on the wrong side of the street as to
hail a man on the wrong side of his vanity.

[Illustration]

DIVORCE is getting to be as painless as dentistry. Two people pack each
other's trunks, genially shake hands farewell, wish each other luck, and
then go off to Europe while the lawyers fight it out.

A MAN forgets all about how to make love after ten years of matrimony;
but it's wonderful how quickly he can get into practice again after his
wife dies.

DON'T flatter yourself because he calls every Sunday evening that it is
a sign that he's getting serious. It may only be a sign that everything
else is closed.

NO doubt when a man puts his cheek against a girl's he always imagines
that it feels as smooth as hers does.

GETTING married is so easy that most men are suspicious of it.

[Illustration]

A MOTHER-IN-LAW may be the serpent in the Garden of Eden; but if it
hadn't been for the serpent whom would Adam have had to blame for all
his troubles?

WHEN two people marry they "lock their hearts together and throw away
the key;" then they begin looking around for some old legal nail to pick
the lock with.

LUCK in love consists in getting not the person you want, but the person
who wants you. If you don't believe it try being married to somebody who
is not in love with you.

A MAN'S idea of an engagement is a chance to find out whether or not he
really enjoys kissing that particular girl.

IT'S not his understanding of the plot of the opera that makes a man
appreciate it, but the "understanding" of the chorus ladies.

[Illustration]

A MAN thinks that by marrying a woman he proves he loves her, and that
therefore nothing more need ever be said about it.

THE average man looks on matrimony as a hitching post where he can tie a
woman and leave her until he comes home nights.

THERE is nothing so uninteresting to a a man as a contentedly married
woman.

A MAN'S sweethearts are like his cigars; he has many of each of them,
loves each one as tenderly as the preceding, and