*

###
L: The twelfth letter of the alphabet, captured some years ago for the
purpose of describing the Elevated Railroad.
###

* * * * *

LABOR. Trying to get back the money you loaned.

[Illustration]

LADY. A gentleman woman.

LAMB. A young mutton-head that goes into Wall Street.

LARK. A bird of a name given to a bird of a time.

LIGHT. An excuse used by the Gas Company to collect money.

LITERARY FAILURE. A man whose brain was unfit for publication.

[Illustration]

LOBSTER. A shine after he gets in the swim.

LOAFER. A man who believes the world owes him a living and sends another
man to collect it.

LOVE. A certain party who is supposed to be blind, but he doesn't seem
to have much trouble in finding someone to lead him around.

[Illustration: "M--One experiment that few are willing to make."]

Money cannot buy happiness, but most of us are willing to make the
experiment.

Many people would take a short walk on the road to ruin if they were
sure their friends wouldn't see them.

Money is the root of much friendship.

Marry in haste and repent in Dakota.

* * * * *

####
M: The thirteenth letter of the alphabet, which very few people use
because thirteen is unlucky.
####

* * * * *

MACARONI. An excuse for opening an Italian restaurant.

MAP. That part of the human face which is visible above the collar.

[Illustration]

MARVEL. A man who never tells you his troubles.

MEDAL. A gold or silver dingus which you get for doing something you
intended to do anyway.

MEDDLER. The fellow who butts in and says you're not entitled to a
medal.

MISER. A man who has all the money he wants but wants more.

MONEY. Something which talks, but a poor man can't keep it long enough
to know what it says.

[Illustration: 1/1000 MICROBE ENLARGED]

MICROBE. A very small animal that devotes all its energy to moving
into the system of an entire stranger. Once in it begins to do light
housekeeping on the aforementioned stranger's epiglottis. (For the
meaning of epiglottis consult the first doctor you meet. If he doesn't
tell you he's no gentleman.)

[Illustration: N ]

No matter how many good things our friends say about us, we are never
surprised.

Nothing is so astonishing to us as another man's success.

Needless to say, a friend in need is a friend in the soup.

Nothi