nd chop it up fine, add water, stir gently and
add more water. Let it sizzle. Add more water. Always boil the water
before adding. Let it sizzle. Now remove the skum and serve hot with
watercresses on the side. This is a nice dish for a small family and at
the same time it shows what a generous nature the Food Trust has to
suggest it.

MOCK GIBLETS.--Take two rubber-neck clams and after stuffing them with
chestnuts fry them over a slow fire. The Coal Trust will see to it that
you have no trouble in getting a slow but expensive fire. Let them
sizzle. Now remove the necks from the clams and add baking soda. Let
them sizzle. Take the juice of a lemon and scatter it at the clams.
Serve hot, with pink finger bowls with your initials on them. Some
people prefer to have their initials on the clams, but such an idea is
only for the wealthy.

IMITATION PRUNE PIE.--Take a dozen knot-holes and peel them carefully.
Remove the shells and add a cup of sugar. Stir quickly and put in a hot
oven. Bake gently for six hours and then add a little Jamaica ginger.
Serve cold with tea wafers and talk fast while eating them.

BREAKFAST BACON.--Take a hat full of pine shavings and remove the
interior. Add a little sherry wine and sweeten to taste. Let them
sizzle. Sprinkle with salt and pepper and other cosmetics and let them
sizzle. Now turn them over with a spoon and serve them hot off the
griddle.

SARATOGA CHIPS.--The same as the breakfast bacon only you don't remove
the interior from the pine shavings. Just take them as Nature made them
and add a little salad oil. Serve cold with shredded onions on the side.

MOCK BAKED BEANS.--Take as many buttons as the family can afford and
remove the thread. Add pure spring water, put in a saucepan and stir
gently until you burst your buttons. Add a little flour to calm them and
let them sizzle. Serve with tomato catsup or molasses, according to the
location you find yourself living on the map.

OATMEAL PUDDING.--Take the sawdust carefully from a freshly caught board
and remove the husks. Add water and let it sizzle. Stir gently two
hours, then rest a while. Pour the contents into a saucepan and saturate
it with sugar and salt and other spices. Serve without splashing it, and
add a little cold water painted white to look like milk. This last idea
is a splendid joke on the Milk Trust.

HAMBURGER STEAK.--Always be sure to get a fresh Hamburger. There is
nothing that will reconcile a man to a vege