ng ventured nothing wonderful.

* * * * *

###
N: The fourteenth letter of the alphabet, sometimes called a nasal by
those who ought to know better.
###

* * * * *

NABOB. A man who can put on a new suit of clothes every fifteen minutes.

NATION. A large principality ready to go to war at a moment's notice.
For example: Carrie Nation.

NATURE. Something which makes no mistakes, with the exception of a
crowded street car.

NECESSITY. The mother of many an empty stomach.

[Illustration]

NECK. A place to get it in.

NEXT. The battle cry in a barber shop before blood is shed.

NIT. An abbreviation of Nix.

NIX. An abbreviation of Nit.

NOPE. An abbreviation of No!

[Illustration]

NOISE. The sound of a new suit of clothes on a loud man.

NODDLE. The place where some people think they think.

NOVEL. A book that sells better than it reads.

[Illustration: "O--A well balanced Head."]

Of two evils choose the one least likely to be talked about.

Oh, yes, the man with a jag can hold on to the fence, but he can't hold
on to his reputation.

Opportunity is something a Fool waits for while the Wise Guy runs down
the road to meet it.

Occasionally we meet men who have to part their hair in the middle in
order to have a well-balanced head.

* * * * *

###
O: The fifteenth letter of the alphabet, used principally by the Irish
in front of their names.
###

* * * * *

OH! The mild-mannered sister of Ouch!

OATS. A substance invented by Nature and intended for a breakfast food,
but because pine shavings are cheaper it is now obsolete.

OBEY. A word put in the marriage service for the purpose of giving the
parties of the first part something to kick about.

[Illustration]

OCULIST. A man many young people should consult who think they have
fallen in love at first sight.

OIL. See John D. Rockerfeller--if you can.

OLD HEN. The pet name a man has for his wife because she rules the
roost.

OLIVE. A green grape dropped in a cocktail so the customer can pull it
out with his fingers. See _Cherry_.

ONION. A noisy vegetable eaten principally by people who sit next to us
in street cars.

OPERA. A device used for the purpose of making a fortune for a good
singer.

OPPORTUNITY. Something never seen until it is not there to be looked at.

ORIGINALITY. The