lustration]

RAG. A material invented for chewing purposes.

RAKE. A man-about-town after he gets shop worn.

RARE. The way you get roast beef when you order it well done.

REFORM. A bird which is always flying towards us but which never gets
here.

RETRIBUTION. A man who marries for money and finds it is all in
Confederate bills.

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RICHES. Something which is said to have wings, but I can't prove it,
because they never flew my way.

ROYSTERER. A man who sowed so much wild oats in his youth that he has to
eat cracked oats in his age.

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RACE-SUICIDE. A disease which was cured by T. Roosevelt, Esquire, when
he invented an idea for the purpose of giving nursemaids steady
employment. For instance:

Rondeau.

There was a nice old lady and
She lived within her shoe;
She had so many children that
She didn't know what to do.
She wrote the President and said
"I have twenty kids or more!"
The President replied to her
"Encore, old girl, encore!"
She answered, "I've no room at home
For more, so I am through!"
And he replied, "Why don't you go
And get another shoe?"

--Sir Walter Scott, page 96.

RIDDLE. A question-mark gone mad. A foolish member of the Interrogation
family whose most fiendish offspring is "How old is Ann?" Some examples:

* * * * *

Ann's father sends his pitcher to the well; Mary's father sends his
pitcher to the saloon; how much money has Ann's father saved?

Ann's mother has just finished reading a very beautiful story. Mary's
mother sent over and borrowed the book. How old will Ann's mother be
when the book gets back?

Ann's little brother is entertaining Ann's sweetheart in the parlor.
Ann's little brother has just told Ann's sweetheart how old Ann is. How
long did Ann's sweetheart remain after he learned the bitter truth?

Ann has a brother by the name of James. James wrote two letters, one to
his wife and one to his lady typewriter. Ten minutes after mailing them
he discovered that the right letter was in the wrong envelope. Which
train did James take and when does Ann expect him back?

Ann took a dollar bill and went to a department store. She saved twenty
cents for car fare and spent eighty cents for lunch. What were the
clerks swearing at after Ann went out?

Ann had dark hair but she put peroxide on it to frighten it lighter.
Ann's hair became angry at the peroxide and got