times gave to the last
penny in the house, though she had a large family to maintain, and yet
she did not fail in her faith.

My mother's only care about me had been all along to have me in the
house, which indeed is one material point for a girl. This habit of
being so constantly kept within, proved of great service after my
marriage. It would have been better had she kept me more in her own
apartment, with an agreeable freedom and inquired oftener what part of
the house I was in.

After my cousin left me, God granted me the grace to forgive injuries
with such readiness, that my confessor was surprised. He knew that some
young ladies had, out of envy, traduced me and that I spoke well of
them as occasion offered. I was seized with an ague, which lasted four
months, in which I suffered much. During that time, I was enabled to
suffer with much resignation and patience. In this frame of mind and
manner of life I persevered, so long as I continued the practice of
mental prayer.

Later we went to pass some days in the country. My father took along
with us one of his relations, a very accomplished young gentleman. He
had a great desire to marry me; but my father, resolved not to give me
to any near kinsman on account of the difficulty obtaining
dispensations, put him off, without alleging any false or frivolous
reasons for it. As this young gentleman was very devout, and every day
said the office of the Virgin, I said it with him. To have time for it,
I left off prayer which was to me the first inlet of evils. Yet, I kept
up for a long time some share of the spirit of piety; for I went to
seek out the little shepherdesses, to instruct them in their religious
duties. This spirit gradually decayed, not being nourished by prayer. I
became cold toward God. All my old faults revived to which I added an
excessive vanity. The love I began to have for myself extinguished what
remained in me of the love of God.

I did not wholly leave off mental prayer, without asking my confessor's
leave. I told him I thought it better to say the office of the Virgin
every day than to practice prayer; I had not time for both. I saw not
that this was a stratagem of the enemy to draw me from God, to entangle
me in the snares he had laid for me. I had time sufficient for both, as
I had no other occupation than what I prescribed to myself. My
confessor was easy in the matter. Not being a man of prayer he gave his
consent to my great hurt.

Oh, my