rrupted. "Niver fear. They're too near th'
fodder."

ON HIS COUSIN GEORGE.

"Well," said Mr. Hennessy, in tones of chastened joy: "Dewey didn't do a
thing to thim. I hope th' poor la-ad ain't cooped up there in
Minneapolis."

"Niver fear," said Mr. Dooley, calmly. "Cousin George is all r-right."

"Cousin George?" Mr. Hennessy exclaimed.

"Sure," said Mr. Dooley. "Dewey or Dooley, 'tis all th' same. We dhrop a
letter here an' there, except th' haitches,--we niver dhrop thim,--but
we're th' same breed iv fightin' men. Georgy has th' thraits iv th'
fam'ly. Me uncle Mike, that was a handy man, was tol' wanst he'd be sint
to hell f'r his manny sins, an' he desarved it; f'r, lavin' out th' wan
sin iv runnin' away fr'm annywan, he was booked f'r ivrything from
murdher to missin' mass. 'Well,' he says, 'anny place I can get into,'
he says, 'I can get out iv,' he says. 'Ye bet on that,' he says.

"So it is with Cousin George. He knew th' way in, an' it's th' same way
out. He didn't go in be th' fam'ly inthrance, sneakin' along with th'
can undher his coat. He left Ding Dong, or whativer 'tis ye call it, an'
says he, 'Thank Gawd,' he says, 'I'm where no man can give me his idees
iv how to r-run a quiltin' party, an' call it war,' he says. An' so he
sint a man down in a divin' shute, an' cut th' cables, so's Mack
cudden't chat with him. Thin he prances up to th' Spanish forts, an'
hands thim a few oranges. Tosses thim out like a man throwin' handbills
f'r a circus. 'Take that,' he says, 'an' raymimber th' Maine,' he says.
An' he goes into th' harbor, where Admiral What-th'-'ell is, an', says
he, 'Surrinder,' he says. 'Niver,' says th' Dago. 'Well,' says Cousin
George, 'I'll just have to push ye ar-round,' he says. An' he tosses a
few slugs at th' Spanyards. Th' Spanish admiral shoots at him with a bow
an' arrow, an' goes over an' writes a cable. 'This mornin' we was
attackted,' he says. 'An' he says, 'we fought the inimy with great
courage,' he says. 'Our victhry is complete,' he says. 'We have lost
ivrything we had,' he says. 'Th' threachrous foe,' he says, 'afther
destroyin' us, sought refuge behind a mud-scow,' he says; 'but nawthin'
daunted us. What boats we cudden't r-run ashore we surrindered,' he
says. 'I cannot write no more,' he says, 'as me coat-tails are afire,'
he says; 'an' I am bravely but rapidly leapin' fr'm wan vessel to
another, followed be me valiant crew with a fire-engine,' he says. 'If I
can sa