eir methods. They wear no
clothes except what they have on, an' each woman has five husbands an'
each man has five wives. Th' r-rest goes into th' discard, th' same as
here. Th' islands has been ownded be Spain since befure th' fire; an'
she's threated thim so well they're now up in ar-rms again her, except a
majority iv thim which is thurly loyal. Th' natives seldom fight, but
whin they get mad at wan another they r-run-a-muck. Whin a man
r-runs-a-muck, sometimes they hang him an' sometimes they discharge him
an' hire a new motorman. Th' women ar-re beautiful, with languishin'
black eyes, an' they smoke see-gars, but ar-re hurried an' incomplete in
their dhress. I see a pitcher iv wan th' other day with nawthin' on her
but a basket of cocoanuts an' a hoop-skirt. They're no prudes. We import
juke, hemp, cigar wrappers, sugar, an' fairy tales fr'm th' Ph'lippeens,
an' export six-inch shells an' th' like. Iv late th' Ph'lippeens has
awaked to th' fact that they're behind th' times, an' has received much
American amminition in their midst. They say th' Spanyards is all tore
up about it.

"I larned all this fr'm th' papers, an' I know 'tis sthraight. An' yet,
Hinnissy, I dinnaw what to do about th' Ph'lippeens. An' I'm all alone
in th' wurruld. Ivrybody else has made up his mind. Ye ask anny
con-ducthor on Ar-rchy R-road, an' he'll tell ye. Ye can find out fr'm
the papers; an', if ye really want to know, all ye have to do is to ask
a prom'nent citizen who can mow all th' lawn he owns with a safety
razor. But I don't know."

"Hang on to thim," said Mr. Hennessy, stoutly. "What we've got we must
hold."

"Well," said Mr. Dooley, "if I was Mack, I'd lave it to George. I'd say:
'George,' I'd say, 'if ye're f'r hangin' on, hang on it is. If ye say,
lave go, I dhrop thim.' 'Twas George won thim with th' shells, an' th'
question's up to him."

ON PRAYERS FOR VICTORY.

"It looks to me," said Mr. Dooley, "as though me frind Mack'd got tired
iv th' Sthrateejy Board, an' was goin' to lave th' war to th' men in
black."

"How's that?" asked Mr. Hennessy, who has at best but a clouded view of
public affairs.

"Well," said Mr. Dooley, "while th' sthrateejans have been wearin' out
their jeans on cracker-boxes in Wash'n'ton, they'se been goin' on th'
mos' deadly conflict iver heerd tell iv between th' pow'rful preachin'
navies iv th' two counthries. Manila is nawthin' at all to th' scenes iv
carnage an' slaughter, as Hogan