ched Garshy. Garshy took his gallant band iv six
back to th' woods; an' there th' three iv thim ar-re now, ar-rmed with
forty r-rounds iv canned lobster, an' ready to raysist to th' death. Him
an' th' other man has written to Gin'ral Shafter to tell him what they
think iv him, an' it don't take long."

"Well," said Mr. Hennessy, "I think Shafter done wrong. He might've
asked Garshy in f'r to see th' show, seein' that he's been hangin'
ar-round f'r a long time, doin' th' best he cud."

"It isn't that," explained Mr. Dooley. "Th' throuble is th' Cubians
don't undherstand our civilization. Over here freedom means hard wurruk.
What is th' ambition iv all iv us, Hinnissy? 'Tis ayether to hold our
job or to get wan. We want wurruk. We must have it. D'ye raymimber th'
sign th' mob carrid in th' procession las' year? 'Give us wurruk, or we
perish,' it said. They had their heads bate in be polismen because no
philan-thropist'd come along an' make thim shovel coal. Now, in Cubia,
whin th' mobs turns out, they carry a banner with the wurruds, 'Give us
nawthin' to do, or we perish.' Whin a Cubian comes home at night with a
happy smile on his face, he don't say to his wife an' childher, 'Thank
Gawd, I've got wurruk at last!' He says, 'Thank Gawd, I've been fired.'
An' th' childher go out, and they say, 'Pah-pah has lost his job.' And
Mrs. Cubian buys hersilf a new bonnet; and where wanst they was sorrow
an' despair all is happiness an' a cottage organ.

"Ye can't make people here undherstand that, an' ye can't make a Cubian
undherstand that freedom means th' same thing as a pinitinchry sintince.
Whin we thry to get him to wurruk, he'll say: 'Why shud I? I haven't
committed anny crime.' That's goin' to be th' throuble. Th' first thing
we know we'll have another war in Cubia whin we begin disthributin' good
jobs, twelve hours a day, wan sivinty-five. Th' Cubians ain't civilized
in our way. I sometimes think I've got a touch iv Cubian blood in me own
veins."

ON THE DESTRUCTION OF CERVERA'S FLEET.

[These comments were made by Mr. Dooley during a strike of the
stereotypers, which caused the English newspapers of Chicago
temporarily to suspend publication.]

"I hear," said Mr. Hennessy, "that th' stereopticons on th' newspapers
have sthruck."

"I sh'd think they wud," said Mr. Dooley. "Th' las' time I was down town
was iliction night, whin Charter Haitch's big la-ad was ilicted, an'
they was wurrukin' th'