sh thribes fr'm Moses to Dhry-fuss' or 'Ivrybody is r-readin'
Roodyard Kiplin's "Busy Pomes f'r Busy People."' Th' idee iv givin'
books f'r Christmas prisints whin th' stores are full iv tin hor-rns an'
dhrums an' boxin' gloves an choo-choo ca-ars! People must be crazy."

"They ar-re," said Mr. Hennessy. "My house is so full iv books ye
cudden't tur-rn around without stumblin' over thim. I found th' life iv
an ex-convict, the 'Prisoner iv Zinders,' in me high hat th' other day,
where Mary Ann was hidin' it fr'm her sister. Instead iv th' chidher
fightin' an' skylarkin' in th' evenin', they're settin' around th' table
with their noses glued into books. Th' ol' woman doesn't read, but she
picks up what's goin' on. 'Tis 'Honoria, did Lor-rd What's-his-name
marry th' fair Aminta?' or 'But that Lady Jane was a case.' An' so it
goes. There's no injymint in th' house, an' they're usin' me cravats f'r
bookmarks."

"'Tis all wrong," said Mr. Dooley. "They're on'y three books in th'
wurruld worth readin',--Shakespeare, th' Bible, an' Mike Ahearn's
histhry iv Chicago. I have Shakespeare on thrust, Father Kelly r-reads
th' Bible f'r me, an' I didn't buy Mike Ahearn's histhry because I seen
more thin he cud put into it. Books is th' roon iv people, specially
novels. Whin I was a young man, th' parish priest used to preach again
thim; but nobody knowed what he meant. At that time Willum Joyce had th'
on'y library in th' Sixth Wa-ard. Th' mayor give him th' bound volumes
iv th' council proceedings, an' they was a very handsome set. Th' on'y
books I seen was th' kind that has th' life iv th' pope on th' outside
an' a set iv dominos on th' inside. They're good readin'. Nawthin' cud
be better f'r a man whin he's tired out afther a day's wurruk thin to go
to his library an' take down wan iv th' gr-reat wurruks iv lithratchoor
an' play a game iv dominos f'r th' dhrinks out iv it. Anny other kind iv
r-readin', barrin' th' newspapers, which will niver hurt anny onedycated
man, is desthructive iv morals.

"I had it out with Father Kelly th' other day in this very matther. He
was comin' up fr'm down town with an ar-rmful iv books f'r prizes at th'
school. 'Have ye th' Key to Heaven there?' says I. 'No,' says he, 'th'
childher that'll get these books don't need no key. They go in under th'
turnstile,' he says, laughin'. 'Have ye th' Lives iv th' Saints, or the
Christyan Dooty, or th' Story iv Saint Rose iv Lima?' I says. 'I have
not,' says he