here man shud come here f'r to insult th' head iv
th' fam'ly.' 'Th' head iv what fam'ly?' says Morgan Dooley, jumpin' up
as hot as fire. 'I'm th' head iv th' fam'ly,' he says, 'be right iv
histhry.' 'Ye're an ol' cow,' says me uncle Mike. 'Th' back iv me hand
an' th' sowl iv me fut to all iv ye,' he says. 'I quit ye,' he says.
'Ye're all livin' here undher assumed names'; an' he wint out, followed
be Morgan Dooley with a chair in each hand.

"Well, they wasn't two Dooleys in th' hall'd speak whin th' meetin'
broke up; an' th' Lord knows, but I don't to this day, who's th' head iv
th' Dooley fam'ly. All I know is that I had wan th' nex' mornin'."

ON A FAMOUS WEDDING.

"Ye see, Jawn," he said "'twas this way: The Jook iv Marlburrow is a
young lad an' poor. Ye can't think of a jook bein' poor, but 'tis a fact
that they'se many a wan iv thim that's carryin' th' banner at this
minyit. Hinnissy, if he had his rights, is Jook iv Munster; an' ye know
what he's got. The Jook iv Marlburrow, whin he come out iv th' academy
where they had him, he hadn't a cint to his name. Ne'er a wan.

"They ain't manny jobs f'r a young jook. Th' thrade is limited; an' this
here la-ad wint round night an' day lookin' f'r a sign, 'Wanted, a young
jook, r-ready an' willin' to do light family jookin',' an' no sign did
he see. He was in a bad way; f'r the la-ad's father was dead, th' ol'
jook. He was a fine bucko. He had a divorce fr'm his wife, an' marrid
another; an', whin he died, she marrid somewan else an' took the
roly-boly with her. This was ha-ard on th' lad.

"But he come iv a noble race, an' wan that had reed burruds whin their
betthers had snowballs. Did ye iver read histhry, Jawn? Ye ought to.
'Tis betther thin th' Polis Gazette, an' near as thrue. Well, Jawn, this
here young man come fr'm a gr-eat gin'ral, a fine-lookin' la-ad that had
manny a mash in his day, an' niver lost money be wan iv thim. Ye'll find
all about him in Casey's 'Histhry iv English Misrule in Ireland: Th'
Story iv a Crime.' 'Tis good readin'.

"Th' la-ad's father marrid a rich woman. So did his uncle. So ye see he
was a natural bor-rn fi-nanceer. An' he begun to luk around him f'r what
th' pa-apers calls a 'financee.'

"He didn't have far to go. I dinnaw how he done it, whether th'
Ganderbilks asked him 'r he asked th' Ganderbilks. Annyhow, 'twas
arranged. 'Twas horse an' horse between thim. Th' Ganderbilks had money,
an' he was a jook. They was wan div