t justice iv th' peace. Me cousin Terence was as dacint a man as
iver shoed a hor-rse; an his wife was a good woman, too, though I niver
took much to th' Dolans. Fr'm Tipperary, they was, an' too handy
throwin' things at ye. An' he had a nice fam'ly growin' up, an' I niver
knowed people that lived together more quite an' amyable. 'Twas good f'r
to see thim settin' ar-roun' th' parlor,--Terence spellin' out th'
newspaper, an' his good woman mendin' socks, an' Honoria playin' th'
'Vale iv Avoca' on th' pianny, an' th' kids r-rowlin' on th' flure.

"But wan day it happened that that whole fam'ly begun to rasp on wan
another. Honoria'd set down at th' pianny, an' th' ol' man'd growl: 'F'r
th' love iv th' saints, close down that hurdy-gurdy, an' lave a man
injye his headache!' An' th' good woman scolded Terence, an' th' kids
pulled th' leg fr'm undher th' stove; an', whin th' big boy Mike come
home fr'm Omaha, he found none iv thim speakin' to th' others. He cud do
nawthin', an' he wint f'r Father Kelly. Father Kelly sniffed th' air
whin he come in; an' says he, 'Terence, what's th' matther with ye'er
catch basin?' 'I dinnaw,' growled Terence. 'Well,' says Father Kelly,
'ye put on ye'er hat this minyit, an' go out f'r a plumber,' he says.
'I'm not needed here,' he says. 'Ye'er sowls ar-re all r-right,' he
says; 'but ye'er systems ar-re out iv ordher,' he says. 'Fetch in a
plumber,' he says, 'whilst I goes down to Doherty, an' make him think
his lease on th' hereafther is defective,' he says."

"Ye're right," said Mr. Hennessy, who had followed the argument dimly.

"Iv coorse I'm right," said Mr. Dooley. "What they need over there in
furrin' counthries is not a priest, but a plumber. 'Tis no good prayin'
again arnychists, Hinnissy. Arnychists is sewer gas."

ON THE DREYFUS CASE.

"I see be th' pa-apers," said Mr. Dooley, "that Col. Hinnery, th' man
that sint me frind Cap. Dhry-fuss to th' cage, has moved on. I suppose
they'll give th' Cap a new thrile now."

"I hope they won't," said Mr. Hennessy. "I don't know annything about
it, but I think he's guilty. He's a Jew."

"Well," said Mr. Dooley, "ye'er thoughts on this subject is inthrestin',
but not conclusive, as Dorsey said to th' Pollack that thought he cud
lick him. Ye have a r-right to ye'er opinyon, an' ye'll hold it annyhow,
whether ye have a r-right to it or not. Like most iv ye'er
fellow-citizens, ye start impartial. Ye don't know annything about th'
ca