ssy, has all th' balloons. But, annyhow,
he's doomed, as Hogan says. Th' onward march iv th' white civilization,
with morgedges an' other modhern improvements, is slowly but surely, as
Hogan says, chasin' him out; an' th' last iv him'll be livin' in a
divin'-bell somewhere out in th' Pacific Ocean."

"Well," said Mr. Hennessy, the stout philanthropist, "I think so, an'
thin again I dinnaw. I don't think we threat thim r-right. If I was th'
gover'mint, I'd take what they got, but I'd say, 'Here, take this
tin-dollar bill an' go out an' dhrink ye'ersilf to death,' I'd say. They
ought to have some show."

"Well," said Mr. Dooley, "if ye feel that way, ye ought to go an' inlist
as an Indyun."

ON GOLF.

"An' what's this game iv goluf like, I dinnaw?" said Mr. Hennessy,
lighting his pipe with much unnecessary noise. "Ye're a good deal iv a
spoort, Jawnny: did ye iver thry it?"

"No," said Mr. McKenna. "I used to roll a hoop onct upon a time, but I'm
out of condition now."

"It ain't like base-ball," said Mr. Hennessy, "an' it ain't like shinny,
an' it ain't like lawn-teenis, an' it ain't like forty-fives, an' it
ain't"--

"Like canvas-back duck or anny other game ye know," said Mr. Dooley.

"Thin what is it like?" said Mr. Hennessy. "I see be th' pa-aper that
Hobart What-d'ye-call-him is wan iv th' best at it. Th' other day he
made a scoor iv wan hundherd an' sixty-eight, but whether 'twas miles or
stitches I cudden't make out fr'm th' raypoorts."

"'Tis little ye know," said Mr. Dooley. "Th' game iv goluf is as old as
th' hills. Me father had goluf links all over his place, an', whin I was
a kid, 'twas wan iv th' principal spoorts iv me life, afther I'd dug the
turf f'r th' avenin', to go out and putt"--

"Poot, ye mean," said Mr. Hennessy. "They'se no such wurrud in th'
English language as putt. Belinda called me down ha-ard on it no more
thin las' night."

"There ye go!" said Mr. Dooley, angrily. "There ye go! D'ye think this
here game iv goluf is a spellin' match? 'Tis like ye, Hinnissy, to be
refereein' a twinty-round glove contest be th' rule iv three. I tell ye
I used to go out in th' avenin' an' putt me mashie like hell-an'-all,
till I was knowed fr'm wan end iv th' county to th' other as th'
champeen putter. I putted two men fr'm Roscommon in wan day, an' they
had to be took home on a dure.

"In America th' ga-ame is played more ginteel, an' is more like
cigareet-smokin', though less unhealth