I, ''Tis a shame f'r to
lave this savage man in possession iv this fine abode, an' him not able
f'r to vote an' without a frind on th' polis foorce.' So says I:
'Snakes,' I says, 'get along,' says I. 'I want ye'er house, an' ye best
move out west iv th' thracks, an' dig a hole f'r ye'ersilf,' I says.
'Divvle th' fut I will step out iv this house,' says Snakes. 'I built
it, an' I have th' law on me side,' he says. 'F'r why should I take Mary
Ann, an' Terence, an' Honoria, an' Robert Immitt Snakes, an' all me
little Snakeses, an' rustle out west iv th' thracks,' he says, 'far fr'm
th' bones iv me ancestors,' he says, 'an beyond th' water-pipe
extinsion,' he says. 'Because,' says I, 'I am th' walkin' dilygate iv
white civilization,' I says. 'I'm jus' as civilized as you,' says
Snakes. 'I wear pants,' he says, 'an' a plug hat,' he says. 'Ye might
wear tin pair,' says I, 'an' all at wanst,' I says, 'an' ye'd still be a
savage,' says I; 'an' I'd be civilized,' I says, 'if I hadn't on so much
as a bangle bracelet,' I says. 'So get out,' says I. 'So get out,' says
I, 'f'r th' pianny movers is outside, r-ready to go to wurruk,' I says.

"Well, Snakes he fires a stove lid at me; an' I go down to th' polis
station, an' says I, 'Loot,' I says, 'they'se a dhrunken Indyun not
votin' up near th' mills, an he's carryin' on outrageous, an' he won't
let me hang me pitchers on his wall,' says I. 'Vile savage,' says th'
loot, 'I'll tache him to rayspict th' rules iv civilization,' he says.
An' he takes out a wagon load, an' goes afther Snakes. Well, me frind
Snakes gives him battle, an', knowin' th' premises well, he's able to
put up a gr-reat fight; but afther a while they rip him away, an' have
him in th' pathrol wagon, with a man settin' on his head. An' thin he's
put undher bonds to keep the peace, an' they sind him out west iv th'
thracks; an' I move into th' house, an' tear out th' front an' start a
faro bank. Some day, whin I get tired or th' Swedes dhrive me out or
Schwartzmeister makes his lunch too sthrong f'r competition, I'll go
afther Snakes again.

"Th' on'y hope f'r th Indyun is to put his house on rollers, an' keep a
team hitched to it, an', whin he sees a white man, to start f'r th'
settin' sun. He's rooned whin he has a cellar. He ought to put all th'
plugged dollars that he gets from th' agent an' be pickin' blueberries
into rowlin' stock. If he knew annything about balloons, he'd have a
chanst; but we white men, Hinni