njooced to cut out a
good dale iv his wife's business,' he says, 'an' go through life
torminted be on'y wan spouse,' he says. 'Th' r-rest will go to wurruk
f'r me,' he says. 'All crap games bein' particular ongodly'll be undher
th' con-throl iv th' gover'mint, which,' he says, 'is me. Policy
shops'll be r-run carefully, an' I've appinted Rastus here
Writer-in-Waitin' to her Majesty,' he says.

"'Th' r-rum they dhrink in these par-rts,' he says, 'is fearful,' he
says. 'What shall we do to stop th' ac-cursed thraffic? Sell thim gin,'
says I. ''Tis shameful they shud go out with nawthin' to hide their
nakedness,' he says. 'I'll fetch thim clothes; but,' he says, cas th'
weather's too war-rum f'r clothes, I'll not sell thim annything that'll
last long,' he says. 'If it wasn't f'r relligion,' he says, 'I don't
know what th' 'ell th' wurruld wud come to,' he says. 'Who's relligion?'
says th' Fr-rinchman. 'My relligion,' says th' Englishman. 'These pore,
benighted savidges,' he says, ''ll not be left to yer odjious morals an'
yer hootchy-kootchy school iv thought,' he says, 'but,' he says, 'undher
th' binif'cint r-rule iv a wise an' thrue gover'mint,' he says, ''ll be
thurly prepared f'r hivin,' he says, 'whin their time comes to go,' he
says, 'which I thrust will not be long,' he says. 'So I'll thank ye to
be off,' he says, 'or I'll take th' thick end iv the slung-shot to ye,'
he says.

"Th' Fr-rinchman is a br-rave man, an' he'd stay an' have it out on th'
flure; but some wan calls, 'A base th' Chinnyman!' an' off he goes on
another thrack. An', whin he gets to th' Chinnymen, he finds th'
English've abased thim already. An' so he dances fr'm wan par-rt th'
wurruld to another like a riochous an' happy flea, an' divvle th' bit iv
progress he makes, on'y thrubble f'r others an' a merry life f'r
himsilf."

"If England wint to war with France," said Mr. Hennessy, suddenly, "I'd
be f'r France."

"So ye wud, Hinnissy. So ye wud," said Mr. Dooley. "An' I'm not sayin'
that I wudden't f'aget that I'm an Anglo-Saxon long enough to take wan
crack at th' Prince iv Wales with a coupli' pin mesilf."

***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MR. DOOLEY IN PEACE AND IN WAR***

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