ora an' Fauna, Jawn?"

"I don't know," said Mr. McKenna.

"It sounds mighty suspicious, annyhow," said the philosopher. "I hope
th' doc'll be able to square it with his wife."

ON A POPULIST CONVENTION.

"Keep ye'er eye on th' Pops, Jawn. They're gr-reat people an' a gr-reat
pa-arty. What is their principles? Anny ol' thing that th' other
pa-arties has rijected. Some iv thim is in favor iv coining money out iv
baled hay an' dhried apples at a ratio iv sixteen to wan, an' some is in
favor iv coinin' on'y th' apples. Thim are th' inflationists. Others
want th' gover'mint to divide up the rivinues equally among all la-ads
that's too sthrong to wurruk. Th' Pops is again th' banks an' again the
supreme court an again havin' gas that can be blowed out be th' human
lungs. A sthrong section is devoted to th' principal iv separatin' Mark
Hanna fr'm his money.

"A ma-an be th' name iv Cassidy, that thravels f'r a liquor-house, was
in to see me this mornin'; an' he come fr'm Saint Looey. He said it beat
all he iver see or heerd tell of. Whin th' convintion come to ordher,
th' chairman says, 'La-ads, we'll open proceedin's be havin' th'
Hon'rable Rube Spike, fr'm th' imperyal Territ'ry iv Okalahoma, cough up
his famous song, "Pa-pa Cleveland's Teeth are filled with Goold."' 'Mr.
Chairman,' says a delegate fr'm New Mexico, risin' an' wavin' his boots
in th' air, 'if th' skate fr'm Okalahoma is allowed f'r to belch anny in
this here assimblage, th' diligates fr'm th' imperyal Territ'ry iv New
Mex-ico'll lave th' hall. We have,' he says, 'in our mist th' Hon'rable
Lafayette Hadley, whose notes,' he says, 'falls as sweetly on th' ear,'
he says, 'as th' plunk iv hivin's rain in a bar'l,' he says. 'If annywan
has a hemorrhage iv anthems in this hall, it'll be Lafe Hadley, th'
Guthrie batsoon,' he says. 'Ye shall not,' he says, 'press down upon our
bleedin' brows,' he says, 'this cross iv thorns,' he says. 'Ye shall not
crucify th' diligates fr'm th' imperyal Territ'ry iv New Mexico on this
cross iv a Mississippi nigger an' Crow Injun fr'm Okalahoma,' he says.
Thereupon, says me frind Cassidy, th' New Mexico diligation left th'
hall, pursued be th' diligation from Okalahoma.

"Th' chairman knowed his business. 'In ordher,' he says, 'that there may
be no disordher,' he says, 'I will call upon th' imperyal States,' he
says, 'an Territ'ries,' he says, 'beginnin' with th' imperyal State iv
Alabama,' he says, 'to each sind wan si