orner iv State
Sthreet an' Archey R-road, wud ye know what car to take to get to th'
Ph'lippeens? If yer son Packy was to ask ye where th' Ph'lippeens is,
cud ye give him anny good idea whether they was in Rooshia or jus' west
iv th' thracks?"

"Mebbe I cudden't," said Mr. Hennessy, haughtily, "but I'm f'r takin'
thim in, annyhow."

"So might I be," said Mr. Dooley, "if I cud on'y get me mind on it. Wan
iv the worst things about this here war is th' way it's makin' puzzles
f'r our poor, tired heads. Whin I wint into it, I thought all I'd have
to do was to set up here behind th' bar with a good tin-cint see-gar in
me teeth, an' toss dinnymite bombs into th' hated city iv Havana. But
look at me now. Th' war is still goin' on; an' ivry night, whin I'm
countin' up the cash, I'm askin' mesilf will I annex Cubia or lave it to
the Cubians? Will I take Porther Ricky or put it by? An' what shud I do
with the Ph'lippeens? Oh, what shud I do with thim? I can't annex thim
because I don't know where they ar-re. I can't let go iv thim because
some wan else'll take thim if I do. They are eight thousan' iv thim
islands, with a popylation iv wan hundherd millyon naked savages; an' me
bedroom's crowded now with me an' th' bed. How can I take thim in, an'
how on earth am I goin' to cover th' nakedness iv thim savages with me
wan shoot iv clothes? An' yet 'twud break me heart to think iv givin'
people I niver see or heerd tell iv back to other people I don't know.
An', if I don't take thim, Schwartzmeister down th' sthreet, that has
half me thrade already, will grab thim sure.

"It ain't that I'm afraid iv not doin' th' r-right thing in th' end,
Hinnissy. Some mornin' I'll wake up an' know jus' what to do, an' that
I'll do. But 'tis th' annoyance in th' mane time. I've been r-readin'
about th' counthry. 'Tis over beyant ye'er left shoulder whin ye're
facin' east. Jus' throw ye'er thumb back, an' ye have it as ac'rate as
anny man in town. 'Tis farther thin Boohlgahrya an' not so far as
Blewchoochoo. It's near Chiny, an' it's not so near; an', if a man was
to bore a well through fr'm Goshen, Indianny, he might sthrike it, an'
thin again he might not. It's a poverty-sthricken counthry, full iv
goold an' precious stones, where th' people can pick dinner off th'
threes an' ar-re starvin' because they have no step-ladders. Th'
inhabitants is mostly naygurs an' Chinnymen, peaceful, industhrus, an'
law-abidin', but savage an' bloodthirsty in th