e people in th' wurruld that has th' misfortune iv not bein' brought
up Anglo-Saxons."

"They'se goin' to be a debate on th' 'lieance at th' ninety-eight picnic
at Ogden's gr-rove," said Mr. Hennessy.

"P'r'aps," said Mr. Dooley, sweetly, "ye might like to borry th' loan iv
an ice-pick."

ON A LETTER FROM THE FRONT.

Mr. Dooley looked important, but affected indifference, as he mopped the
bar. Mr. Hennessy, who had learned to study his friend in order to
escape disagreeable complications, patiently waited for the philosopher
to speak. Mr. Dooley rubbed the bar to the end, tossed the cloth into a
mysterious recess with a practised movement, moved a glass or two on the
shelf, cleaned his spectacles, and drew a letter from his pocket.

"Hm-m!" he said: "I have news fr'm th' fr-ront. Me nevvew, Terry
Donahue, has sint me a letther tellin' me all about it."

"How shud he know?" Mr. Hennessy asked.

"How shud he know, is it?" Mr. Dooley demanded warmly. "How shudden't he
know? Isn't he a sojer in th' ar-rmy? Isn't it him that's down there in
Sandago fightin' f'r th' honor iv th' flag, while th' likes iv you is
up here livin' like a prince, an' doin' nawthin' all th' livelong day
but shovel at th' rollin'-mills? Who are ye f'r to criticize th'
dayfinders iv our counthry who ar-re lyin' in th' trinches, an' havin'
th' clothes stole off their backs be th' pathriotic Cubians, I'd like to
know? F'r two pins, Hinnissy, you an' I'd quarrel."

"I didn't mean nawthin'," Mr. Hennessy apologized. "I didn't know he was
down there."

"Nayether did I," said Mr. Dooley. "But I informed mesilf. I'll have no
wan in this place speak again th' ar-rmy. Ye can have ye'er say about
Mack. He has a good job, an' 'tis r-right an' proper f'r to baste him
fr'm time to time. It shows ye'er in good thrim, an' it don't hur-rt
him. They'se no wan to stop his pay. He goes up to th' cashier an'
dhraws his forty-wan-sixty-six jus' th' same whether he's sick or well,
an' whether he's pulled th' box reg-lar or has been playin' forty-fives
in th' back room. But whin ye come to castin' aspersions on th' ar'rmy,
be hivens, ye'll find that I can put me thumb on this showcase an' go
over at wan lep."

"I didn't say annything," said Mr. Hennessy. "I didn't know about
Terry."

"Iv coorse, ye didn't," said Mr. Dooley. "An' that's what I'm sayin'.
Ye're here wallowin' in luxury, wheelin' pig ir'n fr'm morn till night;
an' ye have no thought iv what