Dutchman took him to Ding Dong. I'll attind to th' Dutchman some
afthernoon whin I have nawthin'else to do. I'm settin' in the palace
with me feet on th' pianny. Write soon. I won't get it. So no more at
prisint, fr'm ye'er ol' frind an' well-wisher, George Dooley.'

"How ar-re they goin' to stop him? How ar-re they goin' to stop him?
There's Mack on th' shore bawlin' ordhers. 'Come back,' he says. 'Come
back, I command ye,' he says. 'George, come back,' he says. 'Th' war is
over,' he says. 'We're at peace with th' wurruld,' he says. 'George,' he
says, 'George, be a good fellow,' he says. 'Lave up on thim,' he says.
'Hivins an' earth, he's batin' that poor Spanyard with a pavin' block.
George, George, ye break me hear-rt,' he says.

"But George Dooley, he gives th' wink to his frinds, an' says he,
'What's that man yellin' on th' shore about?' he says. 'Louder,' he
says. 'I can't hear ye,' he says. 'Sing it,' he says. 'Write it to me on
a postal ca-ard at Mahdrid,' he says. 'Don't stop me now,' he says.
'This is me, busy day,' he says; an' away he goes with a piece iv lead
pipe in wan hand an' a couplin' pin in th' other.

"What'll we do with him? We can't catch up with him. He's goin' too
fast. Mack's a week behind him ivry time he stops annywhere. He has
sthrung a throlley acrost th' islands, an' he's climbin' mountains with
his fleet. Th' on'y thing I see, Hinnissy, that Mack can do is to go
east an' meet him comin' r-round. If he hurries, he'll sthrike him
somewhere in Rooshia or Boohlgahria, an' say to him: 'George, th' war's
over. Won't ye come home with me?' I think he'll listen to reason."

"I think a man ought to stop fightin' whin th' war is ended," said Mr.
Hennessy.

"I dinnaw about that," said Mr. Dooley. "He started without askin' our
lave, an' I don't see what we've got to do with th' way he finishes.
'Tis a tur-rble thing to be a man iv high sperrits, an' not to know whin
th' other fellow's licked."

ON THE PHILIPPINES.

"I know what I'd do if I was Mack," said Mr. Hennessy. "I'd hist a flag
over th' Ph'lippeens, an' I'd take in th' whole lot iv thim."

"An' yet," said Mr. Dooley, "tis not more thin two months since ye
larned whether they were islands or canned goods. Ye'er back yard is so
small that ye'er cow can't turn r-round without buttin' th' woodshed off
th' premises, an' ye wudden't go out to th' stock yards without takin'
out a policy on yer life. Suppose ye was standin' at th' c