mpted to
imitate some other animals, but with less success. Dr. Blair, anxious
for the fame of his friend, addressed him thus: "My dear sir, I would
confine myself to _the cow_."

DLXI.--TAKING HIS MEASURE.

A CONCEITED packman called at a farm-house in the west of Scotland, in
order to dispose of some of his wares. The goodwife was startled by his
southern accent, and his high talk about York, London, and other big
places. "An' whaur come ye frae yersel?" was the question of the gude
wife. "Ou! I am from the Border!"--"The Border. Oh! I thocht that; for
we aye think the _selvidge_ is the wakest bit o' the wab!"

DLXII.--THURLOW AND PITT.

WHEN the Lord Chancellor Thurlow was supposed to be on no very friendly
terms with the Minister (Mr. Pitt), a friend asked the latter how
Thurlow drew with them. "I don't know," said the Premier, "how he
_draws_, but he has not refused _his oats_ yet."

DLXIII.--EPIGRAM.

(On Lord ----'s delivering his speeches in a sitting position, owing to
excessive gout.)

IN asserting that Z. is with villany rife,
I very much doubt if the Whigs misreport him;
Since _two_ members _attached to his person through life_,
Have, on recent occasions, _refused to support him_.

DLXIV.--A HAPPY MAN.

LORD M---- had a very exalted opinion of his own cleverness, and once
made the following pointed remark: "When I happen to say a foolish
thing, I always burst out a laughing!"--"I envy you your happiness, my
lord, then," said Charles Townshend, "for you must certainly live the
_merriest_ life of any man in Europe."

DLXV.--VULGAR ARGUMENTS.

AT a club, of which Jerrold was a member, a fierce Jacobite, and a
friend, as fierce, of the cause of William the Third, were arguing
noisily, and disturbing less excitable conversationalists. At length the
Jacobite, a brawny Scot, brought his fist down heavily upon the table,
and roared at his adversary:--

"I tell you what it is, sir, I spit upon your King William!"

The friend of the Prince of Orange was not to be out-mastered by mere
lungs. He rose, and roared back to the Jacobite:--

"And I, sir, spit upon your James the Second!"

Jerrold, who had been listening to the uproar in silence, hereupon rung
the bell, and shouted:--

"Waiter, _spittoons for two_!"

DLXVI.--A CLEAR CASE.

MR. JUSTICE MAULE would occasionally tax the powers of country juries.
_Ex. gr._ "Ge