DCCCIX.--EQUAL TO NOTHING.

ON being informed that the judges in the Court of Common Pleas had
little or nothing to do, Bushe remarked, "Well, well, they're _equal to
it_!"

DCCCX.--FAMILIARITY.

A WAITER named Samuel Spring having occasion to write to his late
Majesty, George IV., when Prince of Wales, commenced his letter as
follows: "Sam, the waiter at the Cocoa-Tree, presents his compliments to
the Prince of Wales," &c. His Royal Highness next day saw Sam, and after
noticing the receiving of his note, and the freedom of the style, said,
"Sam, this may be very well between _you and me_, but it will not do
with the Norfolks and Arundels."

DCCCXI.--EXTRAORDINARY COMPROMISE.

AT Durham assize a deaf old lady, who had brought an action for damages
against a neighbor, was being examined, when the judge suggested a
compromise, and instructed counsel to ask what she would take to settle
the matter. "His lordship wants to know what you will take?" asked the
learned counsel, bawling as loud as ever he could in the old lady's ear.
"I thank his lordship kindly," answered the ancient dame; "and if it's
no ill-convenience to him, I'll take a little _warm ale_!"

DCCCXII.--MAC READY TO CALL.

IN the time of Sir John Macpherson's Indian government, most of his
staff consisted of Scotch gentlemen, whose names began with Mac. One of
the aides-de-camp used to call the government-house _Almack's_, "For,"
said he, "if you stand in the middle of the court, and call _Mac_, you
will have a head popped out of every window."

DCCCXIII.--EPIGRAM.

(On the oiled and perfumed ringlets of a certain Lord.)

OF miracles this is _sans doute_ the most rare,
I ever perceived, heard reported, or read;
A man with abundance of _scents_ in his _hair_,
Without the least atom of _sense_ in his _head_.

DCCCXIV.--LOOK-A-HEAD.

A TORY member declared the extent of the Reform Bill positively made the
hair of members on his side the house to stand on end. On the ensuing
elections, they will find the Bill to have a still greater effect on the
_state of the poll_.

G. A'B.

DCCCXV.--THE BIRTH OF A PRINCE.

JERROLD was at a party when the Park guns announced the birth of a
prince. "How they do powder these babies!" Jerrold exclaimed.

DCCCXVI.--SETTING HIM UP TO KNOCK HIM DOWN.

TOM MOORE