treasurer of St. Bartholomew's Hospital.

DCCCLXXV.--AN IMPOSSIBLE RENUNCIATION.

THE late Dr. Risk, of Dalserf, being one of the moderators, did not
satisfy, by his preaching, the Calvinistic portion of his flock. "Why,
sir," said they, "we think you dinna tell us enough about renouncing our
ain righteousness."--"Renouncing your ain righteousness!" vociferated
the astonished doctor, "I never _saw any ye had to renounce_!"

DCCCLXXVI.--THE HUMANE SOCIETY AT AN EVENING PARTY.

AT an evening party, a very elderly lady was dancing with a young
partner. A stranger approached Jerrold, who was looking on, and said,--

"Pray, sir, can you tell me who is the young gentleman dancing with that
very elderly lady!"

"One of the Humane Society, I should think," replied Jerrold.

DCCCLXXVII.--A PROUD HEART.

MATHEWS, whose powers in conversation and whose flow of anecdote in
private life transcended even his public efforts, told a variety of
tales of the Kingswood colliers (Kingswood is near Bristol), in one of
which he represented an old collier, looking for some of the
implements of his trade, exclaiming, "Jan, what's the mother done with
the new coal-sacks?"--"Made _pillows_ on 'em," replied the son.
"Confound her proud heart!" rejoins the collier, "why could she not take
th' _ould_ ones?"

DCCCLXXVIII.--SENT HOME FREE.

A VERY considerate hotel-keeper, advertising his "Burton XXXX,"
concludes the advertisement: "N.B. Parties drinking more than four
glasses of this potent beverage at one sitting, carefully sent _home
gratis_ in a wheelbarrow, if required."

DCCCLXXIX.--CHARLES II. AND MILTON.

CHARLES II. and his brother James went to see Milton, to reproach him,
and finished a profusion of insults with saying, "You old villain! your
blindness is the visitation of Providence for your sins."--"If
Providence," replied the venerable bard, "has punished my sins with
_blindness_, what must have been the crimes of your father which it
punished with _death_!"

DCCCLXXX.--WHOSE?

SYDNEY SMITH being ill, his physician advised him to "take a walk upon
an empty stomach."--"_Upon whose_?" said he.

DCCCLXXXI.--"PUPPIES NEVER SEE TILL THEY ARE NINE DAYS OLD."

IT is related, that when a former Bishop of Bristol held the office of
Vice-Chancellor of the University of Cambridge, he one day met a couple
of undergraduates, who neglected to pay the accustomed