, observing himself to be eyed by two handsome young ladies,
inquired of a friend, who was near enough to hear their remarks, what it
was they said of him. "Why, the taller one observed that she was
delighted to have had the pleasure of seeing so famous a
personage."--"Indeed!" said the gratified poet, "anything more?"--"Yes:
she said she was the more pleased because she had taken in _your_
celebrated '_Almanac_' for the last five or six years!"

DCCCXVII.--BRIEF CORRESPONDENCE.

MRS. FOOTE, mother of Aristophanes, experienced the caprice of fortune
nearly as much as her son. The following laconic letters passed between
them: "Dear Sam, I am in prison."--Answer: "Dear mother, so am I."

DCCCXVIII.--MAN-TRAPS.

IT being unlawful to set man-traps and spring-guns, a gentleman once hit
upon a happy device. He was a scholar, and being often asked the meaning
of mysterious words compounded from the Greek, that appear in every
day's newspaper, and finding they always excited wonder by their length
and sound, he had painted on a board, and put up on his premises, in
very large letters, the following: "_Tondapamubomenos set up in these
grounds_." It was perfectly a "patent safety."

DCCCXIX.--A COLORABLE EXCUSE.

A LADY who painted her face, asked Parsons how he thought she looked. "I
can't tell, madam," he replied, "except you _uncover_ your face."

DCCCXX.--CONSISTENCY.

NO wonder Tory landlords flout
"Fixed Duty," for 'tis plain
With them the Anti-Corn-Law Bill
Must go against the grain.

DCCCXXI.--A WONDERFUL CURE.

DOCTOR HILL, a notorious wit, physician, and man of letters, having
quarrelled with the members of the Royal Society, who had refused to
admit him as an associate, resolved to avenge himself. At the time that
Bishop Berkeley had issued his work on the marvellous virtues of
tar-water, Hill addressed to their secretary a letter purporting to be
from a country-surgeon, and reciting the particulars of a cure which he
had effected. "A sailor," he wrote, "_broke_ his leg, and applied to me
for help. I bound together the broken portions, and washed them with
the celebrated _tar-water_. Almost immediately the sailor felt the
beneficial effects of this remedy, and it was not long before his leg
was completely _healed_!" The letter was read, and discussed at the
meetings of the Royal Society, and caused considerable difference of
opinion. Pa