The man who holds out the longest to have the whole and treat
the company."--"I'll do it," said a farmer. The swell dropped in half a
sovereign. The countryman followed with a sixpence. "Go on," said the
swell. "I won't," said the farmer; "take the whole, and _treat_ the
company."

DCCXXXI.--ADVICE GRATIS.

ON the trial of a cause in the Court of Common Pleas, Mr. Serjeant
Vaughan having asked a witness a question rather of _law_ than of
_fact_, Lord Chief Justice Eldon observed, "Brother Vaughan, this is not
quite fair; you wish the witness to give you, _for nothing_, what you
would not give him under _two guineas_."

DCCXXXII.--SHORT COMMONS.

AT a shop-window in the Strand there appeared the following notice:
"Wanted, _two_ apprentices, who will be treated as _one_ of the family."

CCXXXIII.--LICENSED TO KILL.

WHEN an inferior actor at the Haymarket once took off David Garrick,
Foote limped from the boxes to the green-room, and severely rated him
for his impudence. "Why, sir," said the fellow, "you take him off every
day, and why may not I?"--"Because," replied the satirist, "_you are not
qualified to kill game, and I am_."

CXXXIV.--WILKES AND LIBERTY.

WHEN Wilkes was in France, and at Court, Madame Pompador addressed him
thus: "You Englishmen are fine fellows; pray how far may a man go in his
abuse of the Royal family among you?"--"I do not at present know,"
replied he, dryly, "but I _am trying_."

DCCXXXV.--A PAT REPLY.

LORD J. RUSSELL endeavored to persuade Lord Langdale to resign the
permanent Mastership of the Rolls for the uncertain position of Lord
Chancellor, and paid the learned lord very high compliments on his
talent and acquirements. "It is useless talking, my lord," said
Langdale. "So long as I enjoy the _Rolls_, I care nothing for your
_butter_."

DCCXXXVI.--LORD NORTH ASLEEP.

HIS Lordship was accustomed to sleep during the Parliamentary harangues
of his adversaries, leaving Sir Grey Cooper to note down anything
remarkable. During a debate on ship-building, some tedious speaker
entered on an historical detail, in which, commencing with Noah's Ark,
he traced the progress of the art regularly down-wards. When he came to
build the Spanish Armada, Sir Grey inadvertently awoke the slumbering
premier, who inquired at what era the honorable gentleman had arrived.
Being answered, "We are now in the reign of Queen Elizabeth," "Dear