ity of St. Andrews, long desirous of being
elected deacon of his craft, after many years of scheming and bowing, at
last attained the acme of his ambition, and while the oaths of office
were being administered to him, a number of waggish friends waited
outside to "trot him out," but the sequel convinced them this was
unnecessary. On emerging from the City Hall, with thumbs stuck in the
armlets of his vest, with head erect, and solemn step, he approached his
friends, lifting up his voice and saying, "Now, billies, _supposing_
I'm a deacon, mind, I can be _spoken_ to at ony time."

DCCLXXXVI.--LORD CLONMEL.

THE late Lord Clonmel, who never thought of demanding more than a
shilling for an affidavit, used to be well satisfied, provided it was a
_good one_. In his time the Birmingham shillings were current, and he
used the following extraordinary precautions to avoid being imposed upon
by taking a bad one: "You shall true answer make to such questions as
shall be demanded of you touching this affidavit, so help you, &c. _Is
this a good shilling?_ Are the contents of this affidavit true? Is this
your name and handwriting?"

DCCLXXXVII.--QUEER PARTNERS.

JERROLD, at a party, noticed a doctor in solemn black waltzing with a
young lady who was dressed in a silk of brilliant blue. "As I live!
there's a blue pill dancing with a black draught!" said Jerrold.

DCCLXXXVIII.--CORRUPTLY INCORRUPTIBLE.

CHARLES THE SECOND once said to Sidney, "Look me out a man that can't be
corrupted: I have sent three treasurers to the North, and they have all
turned thieves."--"Well, sire, I will recommend Mivert."--"Mivert!"
exclaimed the king, "why, Mivert is a thief already."--"Therefore _he
cannot be corrupted_, your majesty," answered Sidney.

DCCLXXXIX.--EPIGRAM ON THE MARRIAGE OF A VERY THIN COUPLE.

ST. PAUL has declared that, when persons, though twain,
Are in wedlock united, one flesh they remain.
But had he been by, when, like Pharaoh's kine pairing,
Dr. Douglas, of Benet, espoused Miss Mainwaring,
St. Peter, no doubt, would have altered his tone,
And have said, "These two splinters shall now make one bone."

DCCXC.--GOOD AUTHORITY.

HORNE TOOKE, during his contest for Westminster, was thus addressed by a
partisan of his opponent, of not a very reputable character. "Well, Mr.
Tooke, you will have all the _blackguards_ with you to-day."--"I am
delighted t