Sir
Grey," said he, "why not let me sleep a _century or two_ more?"

DCCXXXVII.--RATHER SAUCY.

"YOU had better ask for manners than money," said a finely-dressed
gentleman to a beggar who asked for alms.

"I asked for what I thought you had _the most_ of," was the cutting
reply.

DCCXXXVIII.--LONG STORY.

A LOQUACIOUS lady, ill of a complaint of forty years' standing, applied
to Mr. Abernethy for advice, and had begun to describe its progress
from the first, when Mr. A. interrupted her, saying he wanted to go into
the next street, to see a patient; he begged the lady to inform him how
long it would take her to tell her story. The answer was, twenty
minutes. He asked her to proceed, and hoped she would endeavor to
_finish_ by the time he _returned_.

DCCXXXIX.--EUCLID REFUTED.

(A part is not equal to the whole.--Axiom.)

THIS is a vulgar error, as I'll prove,
Or freely forfeit half a pipe of sherry;
'Tis plain _one sixteenth part_ of Brougham's sense,
Equals the _whole_ possessed by L--d--d--y.

DCCXL.--BRED ON THE BOARDS.

WHEN Morris had the Haymarket Theatre, Jerrold, on a certain occasion,
had reason to find fault with the strength, or rather, the want of
strength, of the company. Morris expostulated, and said, "Why there's
V----, he was bred on these boards!"--"He looks as though he'd been cut
out of them," replied Jerrold.

DCCXLI.--ON THE DULNESS OF A DEBATE IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS.

NO wonder the debate fell dead
'Neath such a constant fire of lead.

DCCXLII.--PAINTING.

A NOBLEMAN who was a great amateur painter showed one of his
performances to Turner. That great artist said to him, "My lord, you
want nothing but _poverty_ to become a very excellent painter."

DCCXLIII.--OLD AGE.

A VERY old man, who was commonly very dull and heavy, had now and then
intervals of gayety: some person observed, "_he resembles an old castle
which is sometimes visited by spirits_."

DCCXLIV.--AN EFFORT OF MEMORY.

"WOULD you think it?" said A. to B. "Mr. Roscius has taken a week to
study a Prologue which I wrote in a day."--"His _memory_ is evidently
not so good as yours," replied B.

DCCXLV.--A READY RECKONER.

A MAN entered a shop, saying he should like a two-penny loaf, which was
accordingly placed before him. As if suddenly changing his mind, he
declared he should prefer two pen'ort