help myself_."

DCCII.--VERY LIKE A WHALE.

THE first of all the royal infant males
Should take the title of the Prince of _Wales_;
Because 'tis clear to seamen and to lubber,
Babies and _whales_ are both inclined to _blubber_.

DCCIII.--A NEW SIGN.

A DRUNKEN fellow coming by a shop, asked an apprentice boy what the sign
was. He answered, that it was _a sign_ he was drunk.

DCCIV.--FALSE QUANTITIES.

A YOUNG man who, on a public occasion, makes a false quantity at the
outset of life, can seldom or never get over it.

DCCV.--NOT TRUE.

A LADY was asked by her friends if she really intended to marry Mr.
----, who was a good kind of a man, but so very singular. "Well,"
replied the lady, "if he is very much _unlike_ other men, he is more
likely to make a good husband."

DCCVI.--BETTING.

THE folly of _betting_ is well satirized in one of Walpole's Letters:
"Sept. 1st, 1750,--They have put in the papers a good story made at
White's. A man dropped down dead at the door, and was carried in; the
club immediately made bets whether he was dead or not, and when they
were going to bleed him the wagerers for his death interposed, and said
it would affect the fairness of the bet."

DCCVII.--FIRE AND WATER.

PADDY being asked if he thought of doing something, which, for his own
part, he deemed very unlikely, he said he should "as soon think of
attempting to light a cigar at _a pump_."

DCCVIII.--THE RAILROAD ENGINEER.

THOUGH a railroad, learned Rector,
Passes near your parish spire;
Think not, sir, your Sunday lecture
E'er will overwhelmed expire.
Put not then your hopes in weepers,
Solid work my road secures;
Preach whate'er you will--_my_ sleepers
Never will awaken _yours_.

These lines will be read with a deep interest, as being literally the
_last ever written_ by their highly-gifted and deeply-lamented
author,--James Smith.

DCCIX.--THE SPECIFIC GRAVITY OF FOLLY.

COLERIDGE once dined in company with a grave-looking person, an
admirable listener, who said nothing, but smiled and nodded, and thus
impressed the poet with an idea of his intelligence. "That man is a
philosopher," thought Coleridge. At length, towards the end of the
dinner, some apple-dumplings were placed on the table, and the listener
no sooner saw them than, almost jumping from his chair, he exclaimed,