e the Family next
door kept Chickens. Usually the Children across the Alley were not fit
Associates for their own little Brood.

One Time she quit on account of a Cockroach. She saw it scoot across
the Pantry and that afternoon she headed for a Renting Agency.

Father suggested that instead of vacating in favor of the Cockroach,
they offer a reward of $100 for its Capture, dead or alive, and
thereby save a little Money, but she refused to listen.

If the Plumbing wasn't out of Whack, the Furnace required too much
Coal or else the Woman across the Street had been divorced too many
times.

If they squatted in a low-down Neighborhood, Mrs. Jump was ashamed to
give her Address to Friends in the Congregation.

If they got into a Nest of the New Rich, then Laura had the freeze-out
worked on her, because Mr. Jump was on a Salary and she had to ride
on the Trolleys. So she began looking for a Street in which Intellect
would successfully stack up against the good, old Collateral. And, of
course, that meant a long Search.

Therefore, every May 1st, something Red and about the size of a
Caboose backed up to the Jumps'. Several husky Boys began throwing
Things out of the Windows.

Father did a Vanishing Act. When it came to lifting one corner of a
Piano or hanging Pictures he was a sad Bluff and he knew it.

"How about Paradise?" he asked one day. "I understand that inside
of the Pearly Gates, each Family has Permanent Quarters. There are
no Folding Beds to juggle down Back Stairways, no Picture Cords to
Shorten, no Curtain Poles to saw off, no Book Cases to get jammed in
Stairways. I am sure there will be no Piano Movers, for I have heard
their Language. Do you think you can be happy in the Promised Land?"

"It will depend entirely on whether or not the Rugs fit," she replied.

"Let us hope for the Best," said Mr. Jump.

* * * * *

MORAL: The Queen of the May is usually a Woman.

* * * * *

_THE BATCH OF LETTERS, OR ONE DAY WITH A BUSY MAN_

One Morning an energetic little Man who had about a Ton of Work piled
up on his Desk came down Town with a Hop, Skip and Jump determined to
clean up the whole Lay-Out before Nightfall.

He had taken eight hours of Slumber and a cold Dip in the Porcelain.
After Breakfast he came out into the Spring Sunshine feeling as fit as
a Fiddle and as snippy as a young Colt.

"Me to the Office to get that Stack of L