t's matter? Huh?"

"Oh, how you startled me," said the Author sitting up among the Rugs.
"Just as you came in I was writing about the Fays and the Elfins. I
was in the deep Greenwood, the velvet Sward kissing my wan Cheek and
the Leaves whispering overhead."

[Illustration: _The Author._]

"I see," said the Artist. "A Dark Change from an Interior to a Wood
Set. That's all right if you can do it quick. Who did you say you was
doing it for--the Fays?"

"I mentioned the Fays and Elfins," replied the Author.

"I've heard of the Fays," said the Artist. "They're out on the Orpheum
Circuit now. But the Elfins--no. What kind of a Turn do they do?"

"Ah, the Elfins!" said the Author. "They dance in the Moonlight and
skip from Tree to Tree.

"Acrobatic Stuff with Light Effects, eh? Well, you're on a couple of
Mackerels. I never see any Benders that could get away with a Talking
Act. You want to give your Piece to somebody that can Boost you. You
write a good gingery Skit for me and Miss Fromage and we'll put your
Name on a Three-Sheet in Letters big enough to scare a Horse."

"I gather from the somewhat technical Character of your Conversation,
my dear sir, that you are associated with the Drama," said the Author.

"Is it a Kid?" asked the Artist. "Wuzn't you ever in Front? Don't you
look at the Pictures in the Windows? I'm Rank, of Rank and Fromage.
Miss Fromage is the other half this Season, and if you seen her a
Block off you'd say, 'Is it or ain't it Lillian Russell?' We've just
closed with McGoohan's Boisterous Burlesquers. We was so strong that
we killed the rest of the Bill, so we got the Blue Envelope. Now
they're using all our Business, including the Gag about the Custard
Pie."

"To what am I indebted for the Honor of this Visit?" asked the Author.

"I heard that you was a Litry Mug and I'm around here to see you about
a Sketch for me and Miss Fromage. The one I've got now is all right,
but in it I've got to eat 8 hard-boiled Eggs, and with 4 shows a Day
that's askin' too much of any Artist. This Sketch was wrote for us by
the Man that handles the Transfer Baggage at Bucyrus. He fixed it up
while we was waitin' for a Train. I've been using it since 1882 and
it goes just as strong as ever, but I like to get new Stuff once in
a while. So I want you to fake up something that'll kill 'em right
in their Seats. Here's the Scenario: My Wife's a Society Girl and I'm
supposed to be a Dead Swell that's come to take he