0 Plates, each
with a Blue Curly-Cue on it. They looked very Cheap to him until he
received the Bill, and then he learned that they were Old Delft and
came to $11 apiece.

In fact, after his Wife had been haunting the Second-Hand Places for
a while, he learned that any Article which happened to be old and
shopworn and cracked was the one that commanded the Top Price.

She never let up until she had made the whole House thoroughly
Artistic.

Her Women Acquaintances would come in, and she would show them the
Dark Oak Effects and the Sea-Green Frescoes and the Monastery Settee
with the Sole-Leather Bottom in it and the corroded Tea-Pot that she
had bought for $95 and the Table Spread made from Overall Material
with just one Yellow Poppy in the Middle, and they would have 37
different kinds of Duck Fits and say that it was Grand and that her
Taste was simply Faultless. After that she wouldn't care what Husband
said.

He was a fairly patient Man, and all he complained of was that when
he sat down he dislocated his Spine, while the Brass Knobs wore
black-and-blue Spots on him; and the dining-room Table should have
had a couple of Holes for him to put his Legs through; and he couldn't
find a Place in which to stretch out; and he needed a Derrick to move
one of the Chairs; and at Night when the Moonlight came into his Room
and he saw all the bummy Bean-Pots lined up on the Foot-Board and the
Instruments of Torture staring at him from every corner of the Room,
he would crawl down under the Covers and dream of his Childhood Home,
with the old-fashioned Sofas and the deep Rocking-Chairs and the big
Bureaus that were meant to hold Things and not to look at. However,
he has been unable to arrest the reaching-out after the Beautiful, for
only last Week she purchased a broken-down Clock--price $115.

* * * * *

MORAL: There is no Place like Home, and some Husbands are glad of it.

* * * * *

_THE PATIENT TOILER WHO GOT IT IN THE USUAL PLACE_

Once there was an Office Employee with a Copy-Book Education.

He believed it was his Duty to learn to Labor and to Wait.

He read Pamphlets and Magazine Articles on Success and how to make it
a Cinch. He knew that if he made no Changes and never beefed for more
Salary, but just buckled down and put in Extra Time and pulled for the
House, he would Arrive in time.

The Faithful Worker wanted to be Department Manag