had a Few Thinks coming to
him. Although he had been double-crossed and put through the Ropes,
he still had a Punch left. He sent for a Lawyer who was even more
Crafty than the one employed by Joel and he said to him: "There is a
Loop-Hole in every Written Instrument, if one only knows how to find
it. I want you to set aside that fool Deed."

Next day the Lawyer came for him in a double-seated Carriage and said,
"They forgot to put on a Revenue Stamp and so the Transfer is off."

"And do I get all of my Property back again?" asked the Old
Residenter.

"You get half and I get half," was the Reply of the Lawyer.

"Give me mine," said the Old Residenter. "I'm from Wisconsin and I
want it in the Hand. Whatever I own from this time on, I carry right
in my Clothes, and any Relative who separates me from it will have to
set his Request to Music." Then he went to a Physician.

"Doc," he says, "they are counting nine on me, but I figure that
before I cash in, I have time to spend all that I have. Look me over
and tell me how long I would last on a Waldorf diet. I want to gauge
my Expenses so as to leave nothing behind for Joel except a Ha-Ha
Message and a few Heirlooms."

"If you want to euchre your Family, why don't you leave it to an
Orphan Asylum?" suggested the Lawyer.

[Illustration: _Second Time on Earth._]

"Nix the Orphan Asylum," said the Old Residenter. "They would bring
a million witnesses to prove that I had been out of my Head for 20
years, and I wouldn't be there to contradict them. I learn that by
a singular Coincidence, all the Old People who leave their Money to
Hospitals and the like are Mentally Irresponsible. In order to prove
that I am in my right Senses, I will Blow mine."

So he went to Palm Beach and other Winter Resorts, at which they
charge by the Minute, and wherever he went he gave a faithful
Imitation of the Cowboy's first Night in Town.

He bought himself a hot Raglan with a Surcingle around it, and a very
doggy line of Cravats, and when he went into the Dining-Room he picked
out a Table which commanded a View of the Door at which the Girls came
in.

All this time Joel was worried. It seemed a Sin and a Shame for an Old
Man to go around spending his own Money.

The Residenter had so much Fun during his Second Time on Earth that
he decided to make it a sure-enough Renaissance, so he married a
Type-Writer 19 years old, that he met in a Hotel Lobby, and then Joel
did go up in the Air.