her that he was not such a Hot Swell as he
had looked to be in the Bunko Photograph.

Sometimes, on Rainy Sundays, he would cut out the Morning Service and
decide not to Shave, and then when she got a good long Look at him,
she would begin to doubt her own Judgment.

And so far as that is concerned, there were Mornings, after they had
been out Late to a Welsh Rabbit Party, when she was a little Lumpy, if
any one should ask.

Love's Young Dream was handed several goshawful Whacks about the Time
that they started in to get a Line on each other.

For instance, the first Morning at Breakfast it came out that her
Idea of a Dainty Snack with which to usher in the Day was a Lettuce
Sandwich, a Couple of Olives and a Child's Cup full of Cocoa, while
he wanted $35 worth of Ham and Eggs, a stack of Griddle Cakes and a
Tureen of Coffee.

She was a case of Ambrosia and Nectar and he was plain old Ham and
Spinach.

It used to give her Hysterics to see him bark at an Ear of Green Corn,
at the same time making a Sound like a Dredge.

[Illustration: _Inhaling It._]

For Dinner she liked a little Consomme en Tasse and then a Nice Salad,
while he insisted on a Steak the size of a Door Mat and German Fried
to come along.

They did not Mocha and Java at all on their Reading Matter. She liked
Henry James and Walter Pater and he preferred Horse Papers and the
Comic Supplement. Sometimes when she would wander off into the Realms
of Poesy he would follow her as far as he could, and then sit down and
wait for her to get through rambling and come back.

If they took in a Show she was always plugging for Mrs. Fiske or
Duse, while he claimed that Rogers Brothers were better than Booth and
Barrett had been in their Prime.

She could weep over a Tosti Serenade, and he would walk a Mile at any
time to see a good Buck Dance.

When they got around to fixing up Invitation Lists, there was more or
less Geeing and Hawing.

All of his Friends belonged to the Hitemup Division. Their only
Conception of a Happy Evening was to put the Buck in the Centre of the
Table, break a fresh Pack and go out for Blood.

Wifey found her most delirious Joy in putting passionate Shades on
all the Lamps, and sitting there in the Crimson Glow to discuss
Maeterlinck and Maarten Maartens and a few others that were New Ones
on the he-end of the Sketch.

When they had an Evening At Home up in the Flat, it was usually a
two-ring Affair. She would have the Cere