if any other Relatives need
anything, they can come to me and try to Borrow it."

Joel sent for a cut-rate Shyster, who brought a bundle of Papers tied
with Green Braid, and assured the Old Gentleman that the Proceeding
was a Mere Formality. When a Legal Wolf wants to work the Do-Do on a
Soft Thing, he always springs that Gag about a Mere Formality.

Joel and the Shell-Worker moved the Old Gentleman up to a Table in the
Front Room and put a Cushion under him and slipped a Pen into his Hand
and showed him where to Sign.

After he got through filling the Blank Spaces with his John Hancock,
he didn't have a Window to hoist or a Fence to lean on. He was simply
sponging on Joel.

This went on for about a Month, and then Joel began to Fret.

[Illustration: _Over the Hills._]

"I don't think I am getting a Square Deal," said Joel. "Here is an
Ancient Party without any Assets, who lives with me Week in and Week
out and doesn't pay any Board. He is getting too Old and Wabbly to
do Odd Jobs around the Place, and it looks to me like an awful
Imposition."

So he went to the Old Gentleman and said: "Father, I know the Children
must annoy you a good deal; they make so much Noise when they play
House. Sometimes we want to use the Piano after it is your Bed-Time,
and of course that breaks your Rest, so I have been thinking that
you would be a lot better off in some Institution where they make a
Specialty of looking after Has-Beens. I have discovered a nice, quiet
Place. You, will live in a large Brick Building, with a lovely Cupola
on top. There is a very pretty Lawn, with Flower-Beds, and also an
ornamental Iron Fence, so that the Dogs cannot break in and bite you.
You will be given a nice Suit of Clothes, the same as all the others
are wearing, and if you oversleep yourself in the Morning, a Man will
come around and call you."

"In other Words, me to the Poor-House," said the Old Residenter.

"You need not call it that, unless you want to," said Joel. "If you
choose, you may speak of it as the Home for Aged Persons who got
Foolish with their Fountain Pens."

So Joel put his Father into the Spring Wagon and hauled him over the
Hills to the Charity Pavilion, where all the Old Gentleman had to do
was to sit around in the Sun looking at the Pictures in last year's
Illustrated Papers and telling what a Chump he had been.

But sometimes a Man is not all in, simply because he looks to be
wrinkled and doddering. Joel's Father