y when the Provider struck the Premises he found the Workmen
putting Red Burlap on the Walls of the Sitting-Room.

"Why the Gunny-Sack?" he asked. "Can't we afford Wall-Paper?"

"Love of Art is the True Essence of the Higher Life," said the
AEsthete, and she began to read a Booklet bound in the same Paper that
the Butcher uses when he wraps up a Soup Bone.

"Come again," said the Wage Earner, who was slow at catching these
Ruskin Twisters.

"This is Art Burlap and not the kind that they use for sacking
Peanuts," explained the Disciple of Beauty. "Above the Burlap will be
a Shelf of Weathered Oak, and then above that a Frieze of Blue Jimson
Flowers. Then when we draw all of the Curtains and light one Candle in
here it will make a Swell Effect."

"I feel that we are going to be very Happy," he said, and then he
went out and sat behind the Barn, where he could smoke his Pipe and
meditate on the Uncertainties of Life.

[Illustration: _Artistic Dining-Room._]

Next Day he discovered that she had condemned his Rocking-Chair and
the old-style Centre Table on which he used to stack his Reading
Matter and keep a Plate of Apples handy.

When he entered the improved and modernized Living Room, he found
himself up against a Job Lot of Beauty and no Mistake.

All the Furniture was straight up and down. It seemed to have been
chopped out with an Axe, and was meant to hold up Members of the
Rhinoceros Family.

On the High Shelf was a Row of double-handled Shaving Mugs, crippled
Beer Steins, undersized Coal Scuttles and various Copper Kettles that
had seen Better Days.

"At last we have a Room that satisfies every Craving of my Soul," said
the Wife.

"I am more than Satisfied," observed the Treasurer. "I am delirious
with Joy. My only regret is that an All-Wise Providence did not mould
me into a different Shape so that I might sit down in some of these
Chairs. What are those Iron Dinkuses sticking out from the Wall?"

[Illustration: _Artistic Bed-Chamber._]

"Those are Florentine Lanterns," she replied; "and they are very
Roycroftie, even if they don't give any Light."

Next she started in on the Dining-Room.

Rule No. 1 for making Home more Cheerful is to put in a Shelf wherever
there is room for one. After which the Shelf is loaded down with
Etruscan Growlers and Antique Jugs.

The low-browed Husband could not tell the difference between High Art
and Junk.

The female Bradleyite covered the Walls with about 40