meal. She had Oatmeal to burn and
sometimes she did it. And she often remarked that Spinach had Iron in
it and was great for the Blood. One of her pet Theories was that Rice
contained more Nutriment than could be found in Spring Chicken, but
the Boarders allowed that she never saw a Spring Chicken.

In the Cast of Characters were many of the Old Favorites. There was
the lippy Boy with the Williams and Walker Shirts, who knew the Names
of all the Ball-Players and could tell when there was a good Variety
Show in Town.

Then there was the other kind, with a straw-colored Mustache and a
prominent Adam's Apple, who was very careful about his Pronunciation.
He belonged to a Social Purity Club that had a Yell. His Idea of a
Hurrah was to get in a Parlor with a few Sisters who were under the
Age Limit and sing the Bass Part of "Pull for the Shore."

[Illustration: _The Lippy Boy._]

Then there was the Old Boarder. He was the Land-Mark. Having lived
in Boarding-Houses and Hotels all his Life, he had developed a Gloom
that surrounded him like a Morning Fog. He had a Way of turning Things
over with his Fork, as if to say, "Well, I don't know about this." And
he never believed anything he saw in the Papers. He said the Papers
printed those things just to fill up. The Circassian Princess that
brought in the Vittles paid more attention to him than to any one
else, because if he didn't get Egg on his Lettuce he was liable to cry
all over the Table Cloth.

Then there was the chubby Man who came in every Evening and told what
had happened at the Store that Day, and there was a human Ant-Eater
who made Puns.

One of the necessary Features of a refined Joint is the Slender Thing
who is taking Music and has Mommer along to fight off the Managers
and hush the Voice of Scandal. This Boarding-House had one of these
Mother-and-Child Combinations that was a Dream. Daughter was full of
Kubelik and Josef Hoffman. Away back in the Pines somewhere there was
a Father who was putting up for the Outfit. Mother's Job seemed to be
to sit around and Root. She was a consistent little Booster. If what
Mother said was true, then Effie's Voice was a good deal better than
it sounded. She said the Teachers were just crazy about it and all of
them agreed that Effie ought to go to Paris or Milan. The slangy Boy
with the rag-time Shirt went them one better, and said that _all_ of
the phoney Melbas in the country ought to pull for the Old Country and
wait