ies did it, it would be called Looting. If the
Common People did it, it would be called Petit Larceny. But with us,
it is merely a Student Prank."

"I understand," said Father. "Nothing can be more playful than to nail
a Tombstone and use it for a Paper-Weight."

"Would you like to look around the Institution?" asked Buchanan.

"Indeed, I should," was the Reply. "Although I have been denied
the blessed Privileges of Higher Education, I love to get into an
Atmosphere of four-ply Intellectuality and meet those Souls who are
above the sordid Considerations of workaday Commercialism."

"You talk like a Bucket of Ashes," said the Undergraduate. "I'm not
going to put you up against any Profs. Follow me and I'll fix it
so that you can shake Hands with the Guy that eats 'em alive. I'll
take you over to the Corral and show you the Wild-Cats. They've been
drinking Blood all Morning and are feeling good and Cagey. About
3 o'clock we turn them out into the Arena and let them plow up the
Turf."

"Is this a College or a Zoo?" asked the Parent.

"I refer to the Squad," said Buchanan. "We keep about 40 at the
Training Table all of the time, so that no matter how many are killed
off, we will always have 11 left. We have a Centre Rush who weighs
238, and you wouldn't dent him with a Hatchet. We caught him in the
Woods north of Town and brought him down here. He is taking a Special
Course in Piano Music two hours a Week and the rest of the Time he is
throwing Substitutes down and biting them on the Arm."

Buchanan and his trembling Parent sat at the edge of the Gridiron and
watched the Carnage for a while. Buchanan explained that it was merely
Friendly Practice.

That Evening the Son said: "Father, you can stay only a Little While
and I want to give you a Good Time while you are here. Come with us.
We are going down to the Opera House to put a Show on the Bum. One
of the first things we learn at College is to kid the Troupers. It is
considered Great Sport in these Parts. Then, if any one gets Pinched,
we tear down the Jail, thereby preserving the Traditions of dear old
Alma Mater."

"Does the Faculty permit you to be guilty of Disorderly Conduct?"
asked the Parent.

[Illustration: _Friendly Practice._]

"Any one who goes against the Faculty single-handed is a Fink,"
replied Buchanan. "We travel 800 in a Bunch, so that when the Inquest
is held, there is no way of finding out just who it was that landed
the Punch. Anything th