at thrilled me and made me wish to kiss and hug him, tell
me he was so glad I had got a prize and that it was a shame that
other chap had beaten me for the cup.

"I was three years (aged 12 to 15) at the preparatory school. I
started in the bottom form and ended second in the school. My
reports were generally good, and I was keen to do well in work. I
was considerably influenced by the 'head.' He was a clergyman,
but a man of wide reading, broad opinion, great scholarship, and
great enthusiasm. We became very friendly.

"During the holidays I now first practiced intercrural
intercourse with a younger brother. I started touching his penis,
and causing erections, when he was about 5. Afterward I got him
to masturbate me and I masturbated him; I used to get him into
bed with me. On one occasion I spontaneously (never having heard
of such a thing) made him take my penis in his mouth.

"This went on for several years. When I was about 16 and he about
10, the old family nurse spoke to me about it. She told me he had
complained of my doing it. I was in great fear that my parents
might hear of it. I went to him; told him I was sorry, but I had
not understood he disliked it, but that I would not do it again.

"About a year later (having persisted in this promise) I made
overtures to him, but he refused. I then commended his conduct,
and said I knew he was quite right, and begged him to refuse
again if I should ever suggest it. I did not ever suggest it
again. For many years I bitterly reproached myself for having
corrupted him. However, I do not think any harm has been done
him. But my self-reproaches have caused me to feel I owe some
reparation to him. I also have more affection for him than for my
other brothers and sisters.

"At the age of 15 I went to one of the large public schools. I
was fairly forward for my age, and entered high. But I made small
progress. I had bad reports; I was 'slack in games,' and not
popular among the boys. In fact, I stood still, so that when I
left I was backward in comparison with other boys of even less
natural intelligence.

"The teaching was certainly bad. Moreover, I had not any friends,
and this made me very sensitive. It was to a great extent my
fault. When I first went there I was taken up by a set above
me--boys who were 'senior' t