her--but I knew. And one
day when our mouths were together I drew her to me and commenced
to stroke her legs gently down. She trembled like a string bow,
and allowed my hand to go farther. And then she was frightened
and ashamed and commenced to laugh and cry together. She had
these hysterical attacks several times and they always frightened
me. It ended in my seducing her. She broke off her engagement,
and then was sorry; but soon she thought only of me.... One day
Alice and I were nearly caught. I had just left her on the sofa
and had commenced drawing at a table with my back to her when
suddenly her mother came in without her shoes, while Alice had
one hand up her clothes arranging her underclothing. The mother
stopped dead and shot me one glance I shall never forget. 'Why,
Alice, you frighten me!' she said. I feigned surprise and asked
'What is the matter?' Alice, although she was frightened out of
her wits, managed to stammer: 'He couldn't see me--you couldn't
see me, could you?' appealing to me. But I had managed to collect
my senses a bit and although still under that maternal eye I
asked,--at last turning slowly around to Alice: 'See? What do you
mean? See what?' And I looked so mystified that the mother was
deceived, and contented herself with scolding Alice and telling
her to run no risks of that sort. I breathed again.

"But I was near the end of my tether. Alice and I talked about
everything now. She told me about her life at boarding school and
the strange ideas some of the girls had about men and marriage.
After leaving school she had been sent to a large millinery or
drapery establishment to learn sewing and dressmaking. Here, she
said, the talk was awful at times, and one girl had a book with
pictures of men's organs of generation, which was passed around
and excited their curiosity to the highest pitch.

"I had days of tenderness and contrition, and even told her I
would get on and marry her. Then the tears would come into her
eyes and she would say: 'I seem to feel as if you were my husband
now.' ...

"I had to see a man on business and went to his cottage. The door
was opened by his wife, a handsome, dark-eyed young woman, who
looked as if butter would not melt in her mouth. After leaving a
message I went on talking to her on other subjects. She piqued