my
vanity in some way, and made me feel curious and restless. I
found myself thinking of her after I left and looking back I saw
she was still looking at me.

"To make a long story short, she encouraged me. It ended by my
leaving the S. family and going to board with them. T.D., the
husband, was glad of my company and my money. They had a little
boy--whose father T. was not. I soon understood her inviting
looks at me. For she was a general lover, and an old man, in a
good government billet, visited her often when T.D. was away: I
will call him Silenus. There was also a dark, handsome man who
built organs. The latter came one day and sent for some beer. I
was working in my room, and it so happened that before he knocked
she had been going further than usual in her talk with me; in
fact, as good as giving me the word. When her friend was admitted
he had to pass my open door and he gave me a look with his black
eyes and I gave him a look which told each what the other's game
was. It is wonderful what a lot can be learned from a single
glance of the eyes. When I saw the little boy bringing in the
beer I felt that he had bested me. But she brought me in a glass
first, and putting her down on the sofa I scored first. It was
done so suddenly, so brutally, that, accustomed as she must have
been to such scenes she turned red and bit her under lip. But she
sent the other man away in a few minutes. After that she was
insatiable; it was every day and sometimes twice in one day. I
commenced to be gloomy and miserable again. And there was not
even a pretense of love. There was no deception about her; she
even introduced me to Silenus and we made excursions together,
for which he paid, as he had plenty of money. We were always
drinking, until at last I could eat nothing unless I had two or
three whiskies. I became very thin, my horizon seemed black and
all things at an end. (But T.D. enjoyed his meals and was really
fond of his wife and her boy and his work; life was pleasant to
him.) She would go up to town with me and to a certain hotel;
after drinking she would leave me waiting while she retired with
the handsome young landlord for a short time. She told me when
she came back that he was a great favorite with married women.

"She told me that Silenus visited a woman who practiced