red. On her side, as I afterward discovered, the
interest in me was less purely platonic. Our relations toward one
another were absolutely correct. Yet we were intimate, informal,
and talked on subjects that would be considered forbidden topics
between two young persons by most people. I felt she was a true
friend. She, too, confided to me her troubles.

"We corresponded with one another frequently. Sometimes it
occurred, to me that it was rather strange she should be so keen
to write to me, to hear from me, and to see me; but I had never
thought of her, consciously, except as a friend; I never for a
moment imagined she thought of me except as an interesting and
intelligent friend. Nor did the idea of illicit love ever suggest
itself to me. She was one of those women whose face and
expression put aside any such thought. I was, indeed, inclined to
regard her as a good influence on me, but as passionless. I
confided to her the affair of D.C., which took place during our
acquaintance. She was distressed, but sympathetic and not
prudish. I did not suspect the cause of her distress; I thought
it was owing to her disappointment in the ideals she had formed
of me. She invited me to join her and her family for a part of
the summer (I had now left the university, having obtained my
degree in low honors) and I decided to join them. At this stage
there began to impress itself on my mind the possibility that she
cared for me; also the desirability, if that were so, of becoming
engaged to her. I found my feelings became warmer. On several
occasions we found ourselves alone. Then, one day, our talk
became more personal, more tender; and I kissed her. I do
recollect distinctly the thought flashing through my mind, as she
allowed me to kiss her, that she was not after all the
passionless and 'straight' girl I had thought. But the idea must
have been a very temporary one; it did not return; she declared
her love for me; and without any express 'proposal' on my part we
walked home that afternoon mutually taking it for granted that we
were engaged. I was happy, and calmly happy; proud and elated.

"Circumstances now made it necessary for me to make money for
myself and I was forced to enter a profession for which I had
never felt any attraction; indeed, I had never considered the
possibility