tercrural coitus, _fellatio, irrumatio_, and occasionally
active _pedicatio_; always according to the inclination or
concession of the beloved male.
He himself always plays the active, masculine part. He never
yields himself to the other, and he asserts that he never has the
joy of finding himself desired with ardor equal to his own. He
does not shrink from passive _pedicatio_; but it is never
demanded of him. Coitus with males, as above described, always
seems to him healthy and natural; it leaves a deep sense of
well-being, and has cemented durable friendships. He has always
sought to form permanent ties with the men whom he has adored so
excessively.
He is of medium height, not robust, but with great nervous
energy, with strong power of will and self-control, able to
resist fatigue and changes of external circumstances.
In boyhood he had no liking for female occupations, or for the
society of girls, preferring study and solitude. He avoided games
and the noisy occupations of boys, but was only non-masculine in
his indifference to sport, was never feminine in dress or habit.
He never succeeded in his attempts to whistle. He is a great
smoker, and has at times drunk much. He likes riding, skating,
and climbing, but is a poor horseman, and is clumsy with his
hands. He has no capacity for the fine arts and music, though
much interested in them, and is a prolific author.
He has suffered extremely throughout life, owing to his sense of
the difference between himself and normal human beings. No
pleasure he has enjoyed, he declares, can equal a thousandth
part of the pain caused by the internal consciousness of
pariahdom. The utmost he can plead in his own defense, he admits,
is irresponsibility, for he acknowledges that his impulse may be
morbid. But he feels absolutely certain that in early life his
health was ruined and his moral repose destroyed owing to the
perpetual conflict with his own inborn nature, and that relief
and strength came with indulgence. Although he always has before
him the terror of discovery, he is convinced that his sexual
dealings with men have been thoroughly wholesome to himself,
largely increasing his physical, moral, and intellectual energy,
and not injurious to others. He has no sense whatever of moral
wrong in his actions, and he regar
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